Ironically, the holiday season is usually the most stressful. Imagine you are trying to squeeze some toothpaste out of a tube but you have forgotten to take the top off. What happens? Deb actually did this in one of her most unaware moments and the toothpaste soon found another way out through the bottom of the tube and got all over her. It forces a hole in the side or wherever is the weakest point.

Now imagine that the tube of toothpaste is you, under pressure and beginning to experience psychological or emotional stress. But you don't take your lid off, as it were, by recognizing what is happening and making time to relax or deal with your inner conflicts.

So what happens to the mental or emotional stress building up inside? In her book, Your Body Speaks Your Mind, Deb shows how eventually it has to find a way out and if it can't come out through the top, as it were, by being expressed and resolved, it will come out somewhere else, whether through your digestion, nerves, immune system, behavior, or sleep patterns. Repressed or ignored stress can manifest as depression, addiction, or anxiety; projected outwards it can become hostility, aggression, prejudice or fear.

We have built into our physiology a fight-or-flight response that enables us to respond to danger if, for instance, we are on the front line of a battle or facing a large bear. The battle may be with your teenage son and bears tend to come in a variety shapes and sizes. Seemingly unimportant events can even cause a stress reaction, as the brain is unable to tell the difference between real and imagined threats: if you focus on your concern about what might happen it plays as much havoc with your hormones and chemical balance as it does in a real situation. 

Recent studies show--as if we didn’t know--that job dissatisfaction, moving house, divorce, and financial difficulties are at the top of the list of known stressors. But we all respond differently to circumstances: a divorce may be a big stressor for one but it may be a welcome relief to another. The difference lies in our response, for although we may have little or no control over the circumstances we are dealing with, we do have control over our reaction to them.

 In other words, the cause of stress is not as much the external circumstances, such as having too many demands and not enough time to fill them, as it is our perception of the circumstances as being overwhelming; and our perception of our ability to cope, as when you feel stretched beyond what you perceive yourself to be capable of.

What you believe will color your every thought, word and action. As cell biologist Bruce Lipton says in his book, The Biology of Belief, "Our responses to environmental stimuli are indeed controlled by perceptions, but not all of our learned perceptions are accurate. Not all snakes are dangerous! Yes, perception "controls" biology, but… these perceptions can be true or false. Therefore, we would be more accurate to refer to these controlling perceptions as beliefs. Beliefs control biology!"

 In other words, believing that it is your work, family or lifestyle that is causing you stress and that if you could only change these in some way then you would be fine, is seeing the situation from the wrong perspective. It is the belief that something out there is causing you stress that is causing the stress. And, although changing the circumstances certainly may help, invariably, no matter what you do, it is a change within your belief system and perception of yourself that will make the biggest difference.

Try It Yourself         

If you find yourself feeling stressed, take ten minutes to breathe more deeply. Most people who are tense breathe short, shallow breaths into the upper part of their chest. If you take slower breaths and deepen your breathing into your belly, the stress will dissolve. 

Then find an affirmation that works for you to shift perceptions and belief patterns and to reinforce your strengths, such as: “My mind is at ease and I am capable of doing everything,” or “With every breath I am more relaxed and flowing through my day with ease.”

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Deb is the author of the award-winning YOUR BODY SPEAKS YOUR MIND, Decoding the Emotional, Psychological, and Spiritual Messages That Underlie Illness.

 Also see our award-winning book: BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You and the World, forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman, with contributors Jack Kabat-Zinn, Byrone Katie, Jane Fonda, Marianne Williamson, and many others.

 If there is one book you read about meditation Be The Change should be the one. Hear about some of the cool people who are doing it and why you should do it too. -- Sharon Gannon, founder Jivamukti Yoga.

 Our 3 meditation CD's: Metta—Loving kindness and Forgiveness; Samadhi–Breath Awareness and Insight; and Yoga Nidra–Inner Conscious Relaxation, are available at: www.EdandDebShapiro.com

Ed is a passionate and expert skier. When you sit for meditation and your mind drifts you can just bring it back to your practice and continue. But if you are skiing down a steep mountain and you lose concentration you could hit a tree. Ed teaches this, calling it inner skiing, where our perception is on the edge and we're in tune both within and without. It is a dynamic and relaxing freedom – meditation in action.
To anyone first coming to meditation they can be met with a plethora of advice and techniques that is enough to baffle and confuse. Where to go? What to do? Which is best? How to start? How to chose between mindfulness, TM, mantra recitation, kundalini, vipassana, insight, witness, breath awareness, shamata, visualization, MBSR, metta, and more?
Part of the difficulty is that the word meditation means both the experience and the technique. This is important because the experience is spontaneous, natural, arising from within, while the technique is simply the learnt method that helps you have the experience. And it makes little difference which technique you use. When you drive to Rome you need a car but once you get there you don't. The techniques are designed to help you calm the mind, to bring your attention inward, focused in just this present moment, so that the experience of meditation arises naturally.
We clarify this difference in our book, Be The Change, How Meditation Can Transform You and The World, as it is so easy to get caught up in the technique – mine is better than yours – and forget that it is only a way to something, it is not the something itself. We talked with over 100 meditation teachers and practitioners who all stressed that the experience is far more important than the technique used because what you are really doing is opening yourself to an inner stillness that grows each time you come to sit quietly with yourself. In other words, just shut up, sit still, and see what happens!
The experience of meditation is one of being completely and utterly present. That may sound so simple but it is rare – notice how your normal state of mind is distracted by issues from the past or dealing with issues in the future – anywhere but just right here! When we are fully present all those demanding thoughts begin to drop away, are seen as being far less important, even the anger, resentment, hurt and other negative emotions lose their power. Being fully present we experience the totality of our being and the richness found in stillness and silence.
So, when looking for a meditation technique, it may be worth trying them all. Each one will offer a slightly different take on the same thing, and we each need to find that one that suits us best. As one of Deb's teachers said, there are as many forms of meditation as there are people who practice it.
Just watching the flow of the breath as it enters and leaves very naturally internalizes our attention and is more than enough for many people (mindfulness, breath awareness, shamata --see below). Others have the same affinity to repeating a mantra or sound as the repetition induces greater peace (TM, mantra meditation). We can also purposefully foster positive states of being, such as cultivating greater peace, kindness, and forgiveness, through the repetition of simple phrases or visualization.
However, meditation can appear very boring, especially to beginners. Just sitting and watching our mind can seem so absurd, especially when we are invariably confronted with an endlessly chattering mind: the dramas, fears and neurosis seem to have a picnic, pushing anything meaningful out of the way. It's not that this chatter is new, just that we are now more aware of it, like an endless parade of senseless scenarios. When we were teaching meditation in England Ed was explaining how the mind can create havoc, and how some of the most inane thoughts can arise like: “I want to kill my mother!” The woman he was talking with blurted out, “How did you know?”
Practice
All you have to do is sit comfortably and watch your breathing. Just breathe naturally, in and out, no forced, short or long breathing. Simply watch each movement of breath. If this is hard, then you can also silently repeat, "breathing in, breathing out" with each breath.
Thoughts will come and go. You will probably find yourself getting distracted. The mind is very good at finding reasons not to be still, like a monkey bitten by a scorpion leaping from branch to branch it leaps from or drama to drama. When it does, just come back to watching your breath. The monkey will eventually get quiet and be still.
Make friends with meditation by not pushing yourself. Start with sitting for just 10 minutes a day until you naturally find yourself wanting and doing longer. That way you won't resent it. Sit upright – a bent or slouchy back will bring your energy down.
And as the saying goes, practice makes perfect. Which means that meditation is accumulative – you may not experience anything the first time you do it, but keep at it and you will. And though it may appear as if nothing is happening, in the midst of it all you may have a breakthrough, a moment of insight, and that one moment can change your life.
******
See our award-winning book: BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You and the World, forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman, with contributors Jack Kornfield, Jane Fonda, Father Thomas Keating, Marianne Williamson, Ram Dass, and many others.

Our 3 meditation CD's: Metta—Loving kindness and Forgiveness; Samadhi–Breath Awareness and Insight; and Yoga Nidra–Inner Conscious Relaxation, are available at: www.EdandDebShapiro.com

If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading. ~ Lao Tzu

At a time of economic downturn, with corruption on the rise and countries at war, we wondered what could bring greater awareness, kindness, and compassion to a world in so much chaos? Could something as subtle and understated as meditation possibly have any affect on business, the environment, conflict, or even politics? Can meditation make a big enough change in consciousness to transform the way we see ourselves, each other, and our world?

We have both been immersed in meditation since we were young. It is the foundation of our lives, and often makes us wonder what life would be like without it when we look around and see the massive chaos and suffering that many people experience. So, for our book, Be The Change, How Meditation Can Transform You and The World, we wanted to paint a more varied picture by including many of the cool people who do it, how it affects them, and why you should do it too!

Meditation has been the main focus of spiritual practice for thousands of years, but it is only in the last few decades that the general population has begun to realize how valuable it really is, regardless of spiritual or religious interests. However, this poses a conundrum. If meditation is so available and as well known as it seems to be, why is it not already an integral part of everyone’s lives? If health reports are saying how good it is as a way to cope with stress, how it makes you feel better about yourself and others, why do we ignore it or find excuses not to do it?
Self-centeredness and selfishness -- hallmarks of the ego -- affect not only our own lives and relationships but also influence the way we behave in the world. There is no limit to the damage a strong ego can do, from the arrogant conviction that our own opinions are the only right ones and everyone should be made to believe in them, to wielding and abusing power at the expense of other people’s lives or liberties. The ego is neither good nor bad, except when self-centeredness dominates our thoughts, feelings, and perceptions of life. A positive sense of self gives us confidence and purpose, but a more negative and selfish aspect of the ego makes us unconcerned with other people’s feelings; it thrives on the idea of me-first and impels us to cry out, “What about me? What about my feelings?”

The ego also makes us believe that we are the dust on the mirror, that we could never be so beautiful as the radiant reflection beneath the surface. Yet how extraordinary to believe that we cannot be free when freedom is our true nature! When we begin to see that such self-centeredness does not lead to happiness and we yearn for something more genuine, when we realize that the pit of meaninglessness and emptiness inside is never truly satiated no matter how much we feed it, or when we have just had enough of chaos and suffering, then the longing for change arises.
This brings us to the importance of contemplation and meditation. Without such a practice of self-reflection, we are subject to the ego’s every whim and have no way of putting a brake on its demands. Meditation, on the other hand, gives us the space to see ourselves clearly and objectively, a place from which we can witness our own behavior and reduce the ego’s influence.

Meditation changes us. From being self-centered, we become other-centered, concerned about the welfare of all equally, rather than being focused on just ourselves. We become more acutely aware of how we affect the planet, how we treat each other and our world, and seek to become a positive presence rather than a negative one. As we find our own peace, we want to actively help others to also be at peace.

Science is now proving that meditation is a genuine way to generate peace by reducing potentially harmful emotions, such as fear and anger. We usually think of such mind states as a fixed part of life, but they do not need to be. Many negative emotions arise from the emphasis we place on success and achievement, which is a left-brain activity. During meditation, we engage the right side of the brain, which encourages us to communicate in a more positive and caring way.

To bring peace to those around us and to our world, we have to change from being concerned with our own needs to reaching out and helping each other. But for kindness and compassion to become a natural expression of who we are, we need tools—help, guidance, and support. Meditation in its many forms is the one tool we have found that does all of this. By getting to know ourselves, discovering that we are more than we thought we were, and by connecting more deeply with our essential self, we find that we have the resources, strength, and wisdom to not only make changes, but to become the change we so long for.

******
See our award-winning book: BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You and the World, forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman, with contributors Jack Kornfield, Jane Fonda, Father Thomas Keating, Marianne Williamson, Ram Dass, and many others.
Our 3 meditation CD's: Metta—Loving kindness and Forgiveness; Samadhi–Breath Awareness and Insight; and Yoga Nidra–Inner Conscious Relaxation, are available at: www.EdandDebShapiro.com  

Yoga has lost its essence, its core meaning, from what it was originally meant to be. It is wonderful that what is popularly known as yoga has reached millions of people, as the physical practices are brilliant in promoting health and well-being, but this is a bit like having a tiny slice of delicious pie and thinking you have the whole pie. There is so much more pie to go, as the vastness of yoga takes us into deepening our understanding of the whole of ourselves.

Unfortunately, yoga's very popularity has led to the loss of the key ingredient: love. Without love, yoga is dry, a physical and mental exercise that doesn't truly touch our inner being. It lacks what yoga is authentically meant to be about, which is a direct way to realize our full potential, our creative nature, our pure understanding and transcendence. We can read all the books and know the teachings, such as the Vedas, yoga sutras, and specifically the Bhagavad Gita, but these just point the way and are not enough to awaken.

With love, yoga comes alive, opening the heart wide with compassion, awakening kindness, joy, generosity, caring and laughter. The real joy, the heart of yoga, is love. Love reveals the way for us to live in truth.
If you are doing it to look better or lose weight then it may be good but it isn’t yoga. If it is a physical exercise class or a social event to have fun then it isn’t yoga. But if it is touching your heart, if it is reaching deep into your being and revealing the goodness of who you are, if it is giving you a glimpse into what is possible, then you are tasting of the beauty of yoga. If you feel joy and peace beyond understanding, that is yoga!

Rather than struggling to perfect awkward-looking postures, we learn to transform our minds and emotions and to connect deeply with our inner selves. Ultimately, this leads to awakening, the discovery of who we really are, free from obsessive ego identification. En route to awakening is the heart.

Opening our heart as wide as the universe is one of life's most powerful experiences. The heart is the core of our being, the place we point to when we refer to ourselves. And it is the center of love. The purpose of yoga is to realize our authentic true self, rather than focusing on the egoistic and superficial self we relate to daily. To do this we have to be in love, we have to be in the heart.

We do not have to go in search of this love, or fear giving away so much that we have none left. We can never lose love; we can only lose sight of it. Love could not happen if it was not already an integral part of who we are. How can we lose what is our nature? How can we be left with nothing when love is the source of all life? This is the fearless embracing of ourselves and all others, enemy and friend alike!

When we complete the journey to our own heart, we will find ourselves in the hearts of everyone else—Father Thomas Keating, from our book, Be The Change

This is seen in the following Native American story of a child learning the lessons of life from his father. “There are two wolves that are fighting each other in my heart," his father says. "The first wolf is angry, jealous, dishonest, bitter, and hateful. The second wolf is kind, caring, compassionate, generous, and honest.” The child asks which of the wolves will win the fight. His father replies, “The one I chose to feed.”

We recently led the Sunday morning service at our local Unity Church. At the end of our talk, over the loud speakers, came the Beatles' famous song: All You Need Is Love! The only way out of political madness and confusion and world suffering is love. Yes, what the world needs now is love.

Do you do yoga from your head or from your heart? Do comment below. You can receive notice of our blogs every Tuesday by checking Become a Fan at the top.

******

See our award-winning book: BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You and the World, forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman, with contributors Richard Freeman, Seane Corn, Jane Fonda, Jack Kornfield, Marianne Williamson, Ram Dass, Byron Katie, and many others.

Our 3 meditation CD's: Metta—Loving kindness and Forgiveness; Samadhi–Breath Awareness and Insight; and Yoga Nidra–Inner Conscious Relaxation, are available at: www.EdandDebShapiro.com

Yoga has lost its essence, its core meaning, from what it was originally meant to be. It is wonderful that what is popularly known as yoga has reached millions of people, as the physical practices are brilliant in promoting health and well-being, but this is a bit like having a tiny slice of delicious pie and thinking you have the whole pie. There is so much more pie to go, as the vastness of yoga takes us into deepening our understanding of the whole of ourselves.

Unfortunately, yoga's very popularity has led to the loss of the key ingredient: love. Without love, yoga is dry, a physical and mental exercise that doesn't truly touch our inner being. It lacks what yoga is authentically meant to be about, which is a direct way to realize our full potential, our creative nature, our pure understanding and transcendence. We can read all the books and know the teachings, such as the Vedas, yoga sutras, and specifically the Bhagavad Gita, but these just point the way and are not enough to awaken.

 With love, yoga comes alive, opening the heart wide with compassion, awakening kindness, joy, generosity, caring and laughter. The real joy, the heart of yoga, is love. Love reveals the way for us to live in truth.

 If you are doing it to look better or lose weight then it may be good but it isn’t yoga. If it is a physical exercise class or a social event to have fun then it isn’t yoga. But if it is touching your heart, if it is reaching deep into your being and revealing the goodness of who you are, if it is giving you a glimpse into what is possible, then you are tasting the beauty of yoga. If you feel joy and peace beyond understanding, that is yoga!

Rather than struggling to perfect awkward-looking postures, we learn to transform our minds and emotions and to connect deeply with our inner selves. Ultimately, this leads to awakening, the discovery of who we really are, free from obsessive ego identification. En route to awakening is the heart.
 
Opening our heart as wide as the universe is one of life's most powerful experiences. The heart is the core of our being, the place we point to when we refer to ourselves. And it is the center of love. The purpose of yoga is to realize our authentic true self, rather than focusing on the egoistic and superficial self we relate to daily. To do this we have to be in love, we have to be in the heart.

We do not have to go in search of this love, or fear giving away so much that we have none left. We can never lose love; we can only lose sight of it. Love could not happen if it was not already an integral part of who we are. How can we lose what is our nature? How can we be left with nothing when love is the source of all life? This is the fearless embracing of ourselves and all others, enemy and friend alike!

When we complete the journey to our own heart, we will find ourselves in the hearts of everyone else—Father Thomas Keating, from our book, Be The Change

This is seen in the following Native American story of a child learning the lessons of life from his father. “There are two wolves that are fighting each other in my heart," his father says. "The first wolf is angry, jealous, dishonest, bitter, and hateful. The second wolf is kind, caring, compassionate, generous, and honest.” The child asks which of the wolves will win the fight. His father replies, “The one I chose to feed.”

We recently led the Sunday morning service at our local Unity Church. At the end of our talk, over the loud speakers, came the Beatles' famous song: All You Need Is Love! The only way out of political madness and confusion and world suffering is love. Yes, what the world needs now is love!

When one has once fully entered the realm of love, the world – no matter how imperfect – becomes rich and beautiful, for it consists solely of opportunities for love. -- Kierkegaard

******

See our award-winning book: BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You and the World, forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman, with contributors Jon Kabat-Zinn, Jane Fonda, Jack Kornfield, Marianne Williamson, Ram Dass, Byron Katie, and many others.

 Our 3 meditation CD's: Metta—Loving kindness and Forgiveness; Samadhi–Breath Awareness and Insight; and Yoga Nidra–Inner Conscious Relaxation, are available at: www.EdandDebShapiro.com

America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter, and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves. -- Abraham Lincoln

The political arena right now can make any sane person feel sick and angry, because of the few selfish leaders imposing their own egocentric whims. As we have seen in the last few weeks in Washington, politicians appear to enjoy butting heads, creating chaos, and getting close to ruining millions of people's lives while they're at it. Granny may not get her Medicare or Ginger be able to pay her college tuition, but do they genuinely care about this, about the pain and suffering of others? How many lobsters, fancy cars, houses or private jets do they need? The awful horror is that these things can never make anyone happy but they certainly can pay for a hospital bed, overdue bill or foreclosure. We're pretty sure they didn't include such greed in their election campaigns.

It is a man's own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways. -- Buddha

Seems like the Buddha got this one right as there is no doubt the majority of politicians appear sleazy, selfish, stubborn, and focused only on what they think is right, regardless of anyone else. The late senator Ted Kennedy was one of the few who really cared, but as President John F. Kennedy said: Mothers may still want their favorite sons to grow up to be President, but . . . they do not want them to become politicians in the process.

For example, during his recent TV show Lawrence O'Donnell played a video of Tea Party Rep Joe Walsh saying, "I won't place one more dollar of debt on the backs of my kids" before noting that Walsh owes those kids $117,437 in child support. Banning Walsh from his show, O'Donnell added "He can go tell his lies about his family values and his sense of fiscal responsibility elsewhere."

Dangerous consequences will follow when politicians and rulers forget moral principles. Whether we believe in God or karma, ethics is the foundation of every religion. – The Dalai Lama

However, this is actually a wonderful opportunity to take all politicians, as difficult as it may be, into our hearts – yes, our hearts — as it will free us from negativity. When we hate someone it is in ourselves that hate is felt, the other person feels nothing.

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. -- Buddha

We need to recognize that such selfish behavior arises from ignorance. If politicians genuinely understood we are all equal here and in it together, they could not behave like this. Therefore, we can have compassion for them. Although challenging, caring unconditionally makes us more decent individuals and allows us to open our hearts even more. It is easy to love someone we care about but can we be at peace with someone who may cause us suffering? This is not easy but it is liberating. Only then can we be free. We don’t have to approve or accept their actions but we can care about the being inside.

Despite being a wondering mendicant living without paying a mortgage, without health care expenses, and without having to have a regular job, the Buddha had remarkable insights into the intricacies of human nature and how best to live a more balanced life.

He extoled his followers to tell the truth, to be honest with both themselves and others: There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting. – Buddha. And: Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth. -- Buddha

He expressed the power of words and the importance to use them wisely: Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care for people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or ill. – Buddha. And: Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace. – Buddha. And: Words have the power to both destroy and heal. When words are both true and kind, they can change our world. -- Buddha

He also stressed the need for skilful behavior. Unskilful behavior is harmful, hurtful, creates unhealthy circumstances and suffering. Skilful behavior generates positive outcomes, treats others with respect and dignity, and ensures that all the needs of all are met.

In particular, the Buddha emphasized that it is man's own mind that is at the root of our difficulties: All wrongdoing arises because of mind. If mind is transformed can wrongdoing remain? -- Buddha

The Dalai Lama, often considered to be a modern day Buddha, recently retired from the head of the Tibetan government, while remaining their spiritual leader. In a current article in Rolling Stone Magazine he says, "I often tell people that this century should be a century of dialogue. Peace will not come from thought or from Buddha. Peace must be built by humans, through action. So that means, whenever we face a problem – dialogue. For peace we need inner disarmament. … It will not come immediately but we have to make the effort."

If only a few of the people in a position of power were to follow some of this sage advice, perhaps our country and even the world would not be in the state it is in.

What would you like to say to politicians?
 

******

See our award-winning book: BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You and the World, forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman, with contributors Jon Kabat-Zinn, Jane Fonda, Jack Kornfield, Marianne Williamson, Ram Dass, Byron Katie, and many others.

Our 3 meditation CD's: Metta—Loving kindness and Forgiveness; Samadhi–Breath Awareness and Insight; and Yoga Nidra–Inner Conscious Relaxation, are available at: www.EdandDebShapiro.com

Awake. Be the witness of your thoughts. You are what observes, not what you observe.

The Buddha

We come from opposite sides of the Atlantic Ocean and couldn't be more different if we tried. Ed is from an over-crowded apartment in the Bronx who became a NYC dance champion; Deb was at a boarding school in the English countryside and was then an art student in London. Yet we both began the spiritual journey at the same time in the late 1960s. When Ed was in India being initiated as a Swami – a yogic monk -- Deb was becoming a Buddhist. So on our honeymoon it was obvious that we should go to India to meet with our respective gurus.

We have previously written about how we can be addicted to a guru, therapist, healer or movie star and how an ego-driven guru can take advantage of his devotees to boost their power and create a 'gurudom' or kingdom. But that was only one side of the story. To put it into perspective we want to share the beauty of what it means to have a guru, someone whose sole purpose in our life is to show us the confusion within ourselves until we wake up and realize our radiant selves.

Who is and what does a guru mean? Simply, it means a teacher, and nowadays is a term used for multiple reasons. According to Wikipedia it is: 'one who is regarded as having great knowledge, wisdom, and authority in a certain area, and who uses it to guide others.' This can be a business leader as much as a schoolteacher, as long as each is an expert in their field and able to impart their understanding. Traditionally in yoga, in the highest sense, the meaning refers to a Satguru, one who is not ego-driven but who removes ignorance and darkness and leads the disciple to self-realization

Due to our chaotic minds it can be difficult to see ourselves clearly -- just as it is difficult to see our own face unless we look in a mirror -- so a genuine guru is a mirror reflecting our inner self. In particular, such a guru can see through our often subtle, mischievous and trickster egos, how we get stuck wading in mentally murky water, caught up in delusions either of grandeur or of insecurity and self-doubt.

The path of personal development never goes in a straight line, there are many detours and it is easy to go astray or even get lost. The deluded ego leads us into believing we are way special and enlightened. The guru has been down this road before us, they've already done the work and got the T shirt and can, therefore, help us to navigate the path more easily.

Spiritual gurus are not all the same – some are like loving mothers or fathers, others are like military captains (we have experienced both) – but each, in their own way, is there to help us open our minds and hearts as they see in us what we cannot see in ourselves, particularly our potential and true nature. The guru reflects a skillful and awakened mind and reveals the same in us. They show us that if one person can do it so can we. As the Dalai Lama said to us when we met with him at his residence, "We are all equal here."

One of India's greatest holy men, Ramana Mahashi, always said that the role of the guru is to push the student from the outside in order to see the guru within – as the true guru is within each and every one of us. However, this does not mean that we must have a guru, particularly as these days they appear to be in relative short supply. The good news is that Ramana was self-realized, without a guru.

Ultimately, as the guru is our true nature and is hidden within each and every one of us, we simply need to deeply trust ourselves. Only from within can we awaken – it is not something someone else can do for us. Through meditation and insight we come to see clearly, beyond a mind that can be as distracted as a monkey bitten by a scorpion, leaping from one thought or drama to the next, to a place of clarity and wisdom. We take responsibility for our actions, recognizing the interdependent and impermanent nature of all things. Life is a precious gift and nothing in this world will make us forever happy, but when we look within we find a radiant reality. The greatest gift is our own wonderful selves.

************

See our award-winning book: BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You and the World, forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman, with contributors Jon Kabat-Zinn, Jane Fonda, Jack Kornfield, Marianne Williamson, Ram Dass, Byron Katie, and many others.

Our 3 meditation CD's: Metta—Loving kindness and Forgiveness; Samadhi–Breath Awareness and Insight; and Yoga Nidra–Inner Conscious Relaxation, are available at: www.EdandDebShapiro.com

Rely on the teachings to evaluate a guru: Do not have blind faith, but also no blind criticism. His Holiness the Dalai Lama power of faith is amazing. Some years ago we were teaching a workshop in Plymouth, England, when a student eagerly told us that Deepak Chopra had 'renounced the world' and was teaching at the local Heart and Soul Healing Center. He was holding gatherings each night and participants were experiencing profound healings and personal transformations. When we went to meet the so-called 'Deepak' we discovered him to be an artful imposter. With his exposure, his followers lost faith and the healings and transformations stopped. This was a classic example of when belief in a guru / healer supersedes our own intelligence, due to the faith and longing to be 'saved'. The real Deepak Chopra later thanked us!
In yogic terms the word guru means 'remover of darkness or ignorance'. One of India's greatest holy men, Ramana Maharshi, often said that the role of the guru was to push the student inside in order to see the guru within– as the true guru is within each and every one of us.
Yet invariably the opposite is true, as seen when a guru encourages adoration, dependence and obedience to them and them only. This is known in India as gurudom (as in kingdom) where the guru amasses a big following and sees him/herself as the ultimate authority but does not empower their students. The guru may even call their followers babies or treat them like children, thereby keeping the student feeling inferior and the teacher all-knowing and superior.
This can lead to an 'enlightened ego,' where one experiences all the wonders of enlightenment but the ego snatches the reward: “I am Enlightened!” Yet who or what is enlightened? This is not unusual, as the ego is subtle and seductive, and it is a trap when we believe we are enlightened. Those that say don’t know and those who know don’t say!
Similarly, many people go to every healer that comes to town in their longing to be fixed or healed. They believe every healer will be the one to solve the mystery of whatever is causing their ill health. We also get addicted to movie stars and their seemingly wonderful lives as a way of filling the void in our own lives.
Hence the scenario where we see followers becoming guru junkies, not just dependent but actually addicted to their guru, as if he or she were a therapist or movie star with their followers doing anything to meet them, wearing necklaces with the guru's photo, and hanging the guru's picture on their wall, but often only seeing them from a distance and knowing nothing about them. As with therapy where a patient may 'fall in love' with their therapist, so the spiritual student can 'fall in love' with the guru, although this is more of a strong infatuation. Many times female followers will fall so in love with the guru that they even submit to sexual abuse, and we know of gurus mistreating students in the name of obedience: if you are truly devoted then you will do this or that for me. The innocent student obeys, only to regret it afterwards and in need of therapy to make sense of it.
We have both had personal time experiencing the guru student relationship. In the late 1960’s Ed went through a classic traditional yogic training where obedience was paramount and his devotion was unswerving. "I trusted that whatever I was told without question and that if I surrendered my point of view or whatever I believed to be true then I would be a candidate for self realization. My guru once said: 'True surrender is when you are right and the guru is wrong and you can surrender being right.' At the same time I believed my guru was the incarnation of god. My blind devotion caused me to be too dependent on my guru and left me unable to function as an ordinary person. I even felt I was more special than others who didn't have this experience, that as I had a yoga name and title I was so superior!"
We worship the guru as god and see them as divine while mistreating or denigrating others. When we were last in India we were visiting the ashram of a guru who hugs each of her thousands of devoted followers. When we arrived the guru was in the middle of a devotional goddess worship, where both she and her many disciples enter into ecstatic states. We noticed a man standing with his young child directly in front of the guru, expressing deep devotion. Soon afterwards we were all in line to catch an elevator to the residential floors. As there was only one elevator there was a long line. Suddenly this man and his child came right to the front. Ed pointed out there was a line of waiting people, at which the man retorted "F…k you!" Aha! The guru is divine; everyone else is not.
This is ironic because in India the most wonderful greeting is Namaste, which means 'the god in me honors the god in you.' Unless we see the god or truth in all people we are like a misguided missile. We limit our own growth and chance to be free. As the Dalai Lama said to us when we were with him at his residence in India: "We are all equal here!"
Many people surrender to a guru with a kind of blind faith, or without checking the teacher out first. Yet, would you marry a person as soon as you met them, without knowing them? Wouldn’t you spend as much time as possible so you know they are right for you? The crazy wisdom Buddhist teacher, Chogyam Trungpa, said we should always be sceptical. Swami Satchidananda said that we should check out a guru just as we would check out a chicken before buying one.
Perhaps we worship a guru so blindly and surrender so willingly due to our own self-doubt, the reluctance to acknowledge our own innate understanding, insights and wisdom. We make the guru greater than we are, demeaning ourselves in the process. And yet the same truth that is within the guru is within us all. What we learn from the external guru is that just as one person can awaken, so we all can. Perhaps we need help, yes, but only until we stop searching outside ourselves. Then the seeker becomes the seer.

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See our award-winning book: BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You and the World, forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman, with contributors Jon Kabat-Zinn, Jane Fonda, Jack Kornfield, Marianne Williamson, Ram Dass, Byron Katie, and many others.

Our 3 meditation CD's: Metta—Loving kindness and Forgiveness; Samadhi–Breath Awareness and Insight; and Yoga Nidra–Inner Conscious Relaxation, are available at: www.EdandDebShapiro.com

There are billions of people on our planet and yet, amazingly, each one of us has a completely different mind with exclusive thoughts, feelings, likes and dislikes. One may desire to be an astronaut and walk on the moon, another a caregiver helping the elderly, another gets lost in the world of delusion or depression.

This mind is able to grasp the most complicated technical theories or create beautiful works of art, yet it can just as easily be distracted by meaningless trivia or get painfully addicted to heroin. Have you ever wondered about your own mind? How it can move so quickly from feeling good to despair, from clarity to utter confusion, and all in just a moment?

In yoga and meditation we teach to quiet the mind, to sink into a quiet inner spaciousness free of the normal babble and dramas. Some find this hard to do as, like a monkey, the mind is used to running amok and having its own way.

“When you begin to watch your mind, it becomes careful. It’s almost like the moment you don’t watch your children, they’re ready to get into some mischief. If you keep an eye on them, they will be quiet. The mind is like that – when it knows that you're watching, it will behave.” -- Swami Satchidananda

Our thoughts can be brilliantly productive but they can just as easily generate confusion or even fear. For no matter how intellectually astute or creative we are, this may have little or no effect upon habitual feelings such as shame, guilt, anger, or insecurity.

Over time these fears and neuroses become like iron bars that surround us, immovable and fixed. How often have you heard it said, “This is just the way I am, I can’t (or won’t) change!” As we unfortunately believe our fleeting thoughts are real, so we just have to live with and suffer the consequences.

It should be noted here that we are talking about the ego-mind that we deal with daily and gets so caught up in itself that it cannot see outside of its basic selfish nature. Through meditation we can become aware of its games and go beyond the fixation of "all about me" to see the wisdom-mind that is radiant, altruistic and free.

But being locked in the mind is like having your head stuck in a cardboard box with no escape. All we are able to see are our own issues going round and round. The mind that perpetually repeats itself becomes its own enemy, as resentments, hurt, desire, and bitterness are relentless.

Yet, to top it all, this is considered to be normal. We even proclaim, “My mind is so busy it’s driving me crazy!” as if this were some sort of achievement. Despite that the mind is habitual and neurotic, we continue to believe our issues are real and play the dramas out over and again, like a dog chasing its own tail.

So, how do we break this pattern? We only find peace when we finally get the message that to be living inside our heads all the time is actually not much fun. When we reach such a point of dissatisfaction and have had our fill of suffering, when the monkey mind is exhausted, then a shift can begin to take place, a shift of emphasis.

And we discover that there is a place we can function from that is not subject to such chaos or limited by fear or neuroses, but is actually joyful, creative, meaningful and loving.

From being locked into the head with all its attendant fears and manifestations, we become aware that there is this other part of our being that operates in a different way and is actually a source of great richness, a wealth that cannot be squandered or lost. We realize that if we can come out of the endlessly distracted and discursive mind and come into the heart, then we find a deeper happiness awaiting us that we had never realized existed.

Where do we point when we say “me”? We point to our heart, don’t we? Tibetan Buddhists says the true mind is the heart. We can cultivate this heart awareness through meditation: Breathing into the area of the heart, silently repeat, “May I be well, may I be filled with loving kindness. May all beings be well, may all beings be filled with loving kindness.”

You can also repeat this to yourself throughout the day whenever your monkey mind peaks out its head.

So this is when losing your mind becomes something you really want to do!

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See our award-winning book: BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You and the World, forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman, with contributors Marianne Williamson, Jane Fonda, Ram Dass, Byron Katie, and many others.

Our 3 meditation CD's: Metta—Loving kindness and Forgiveness; Samadhi–Breath Awareness and Insight; and Yoga Nidra–Inner Conscious Relaxation, are available at: www.EdandDebShapiro.com

However you try to define meditation, it’s not that. Swami Brahmananda

Through many years of being involved with meditation we have seen how easily people miss the point, mainly because they take the practice and themselves too seriously. Many 'try' to meditate but their minds are so busy they get frustrated and quickly believe they are no good at it. Others turn into die-hard advocates of a particular method or technique and become like a salesperson trying to sell their product.

Just like Yoga, people want to own meditation and to believe that their technique is the best one. They give it a name: TM or Vipassana or Mindfulness and sometimes make outrageous claims of what can be achieved, but that is not the point. Meditation is not a technique – being quiet happens by itself, not because of following the breath in and out, reciting a specific mantra or creating a visualization.

Teachers, through their compassion, created the many methods and techniques in order to help their students to concentrate and focus their minds, to be one-pointed. No one technique is better than another; they equally give our monkey minds something to do other than drive us bananas. Many of the practices known as meditation are actually concentration; they bring the mental energy together so the mind is less fragmented. But this is not meditation.
Meditation invites us to stop, just stop, breathe and be. Just as with a musician playing or an artist painting, when we stop trying to make it happen something occurs, like the radiant sun that suddenly emerges in a cloudy sky. But because we try so hard, we identify more with the technique instead of allowing the meditation to reveal itself.

The practice of meditation easily gets put in a box: "I will practice now, at this time, at this place and in this posture, and I will do this particular method." But a method is simply an aide; it is not the experience itself. A hammer can help build a house but it is not the house. There is no doubt that through practice we can release stress and feel wonderfully peaceful, but genuine meditation is about waking up, where the mind is clear and free of obscuration.

This is not a mental process but an experiential one as meditation is an opening, a release of ego identity when all attempts to meditate, all striving, all doing stops, when there is no past or future, just radiant emptiness. It is being present – fully aware and present in every moment -- and we can do that whatever we are doing and wherever we are. It is the freedom to be fully oneself without limitations or ideologies – there is just this.

Deb's father, Richard, was on a Zen retreat where he was taught to temper his sensuality, not to give in to his senses or think of sensual things but to stay focused and single minded. While walking in the garden he then came across a pond laden with happily fornicating frogs. We think meditation has to be something special but true meditation is opening and expanding our perception, as if seeing with new eyes.

The technique becomes redundant when meditation becomes our natural state. It doesn't matter what the technique is -- when we drive to Rome the car is necessary but when we get there it is immaterial – what matters is the attitude and awareness that we bring to practice. The teacher is also more important than the technique. They must be skillful, peaceful and clear, regardless of the method or tradition they are teaching.

The moon trusts that the world will continue to go round on its axis, birds trust there will be berries and seeds to eat, trees trust the seasons will follow in the right order. Until we trust that things will unfold naturally then we are slaves to our doubts, fears and neurosis, to the constant chatter in our heads that says we are useless and don't know anything. But we don’t make the sun to rise or set. The planet is in orbit and neither we nor Jesus or Buddha or any of the wise ones run the show. Our job is simply to surrender to the moment.

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See our award-winning book: BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You and the World, forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman. www.EdandDebShapiro.com

There is nothing more certain and unchanging than uncertainty and change. -- John Fitzgerald Kennedy

Did you ever notice how in one moment you can be ecstatically happy and then suddenly depressed? How you can be friends with someone and then they become an enemy? How something is good and then turns sour, like a delicious mango that becomes rotten?

The world around us is not the same as it was just a moment ago. Babies have been born, people have died, clouds have passed overhead, waves have risen and fallen. Who we are now is not who we were last year, last week, yesterday, even a few minutes ago. Already we have changed, some of our cells have died while others have been created, while our thoughts, feelings, beliefs, ideas, even our relationships are as changeable as the weather or the seasons.

The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty; not knowing what comes next. -- Ursula K. LeGuin

Change happens in the flash of a moment but the ego mind – our self-obsessiveness – needs to make everything appear solid and permanent. We even push death away like an unwanted object, no one actually believes they are going to die.

But just imagine if everything was permanent! Imagine how boring it would be if we were always the same: there would be no butterflies, no full moon, no cherry blossoms and no cherries. Change is the reality of life so if we resist it then we are resisting the meaning of being here, which is to be always becoming something different, other than what we were before.

Without change in ourselves we become stifled and stagnant. Being with what is as it is, and integrating the reality of change is wonderfully liberating, the opportunity to clear away layers of dust and cobwebs and to start anew in each moment. Just as palm trees transform muddy water into sweet coconut milk, so we can transform fear into courage, selfishness into kindness, and loss into a new beginning. Spring is here with new life bursting forth, and in the same way we can create a new life for ourselves in every moment.

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. -- Maria Robinson

Here are 10 ways to make change your best friend:

    1-     Accept what is! If you can change something, then do; if you can't change anything, then release resistance and simply be with what is.

    2-     Take risks. Life is about not having answers, taking chances and risks, and making the most of every moment, all without knowing what is going to happen next.

    3-     Be your own best friend. It is easy to blame and shame yourself, but now is the time you deserve the most love and kindness of all.

    4-     Every day is a new beginning. Each time you take a step forward you have no idea what might happen. But nothing will happen if you continue to stay where you are.

    5-     Keep falling as long as you keep picking yourself up! Making mistakes is not the problem, but not learning from them and moving on is.

    6-     Nothing lasts forever, so appreciate every moment fully and completely, as it will never happen again.

    7-     Think with your heart instead of your head. When you come from your heart you come to your senses!

    8-     Meditate. Take time to just stop and breathe, to remember why you are here, and to find what is of real meaning to you.

    9-     Don't take yourself too seriously. A good sense of humour prevents a hardening of your attitudes, and stops your opinions from getting too rigid!

    10-     Do something for someone else and make giving to others a part of your life, especially if it is a smile and a hug.

See more on Ed and Deb

It's a simple equation. When we are unhappy or angry then we will be angry with other people and increase the suffering in the world. When we are in pain, that pain gets projected onto others or blamed onto everything around us: “It's your fault I'm unhappy!” When we find our peace, as we do in meditation, then that means there is one less person suffering and one less person causing suffering to others.

We have spent the better part of our lives studying, practicing and teaching meditation in different countries around the world. Yoga and Buddhism are our spiritual roots. And we often wonder how we could possibly function without it, or how anyone functions without some form of spiritual practice as their foundation, without the awareness and sanity that meditation brings.

“We have to find a way to remove ourselves from all those messages of unfulfilled desire coming at us or we do not have a chance to clear our minds,” writes Lindsay Crouse in Be The Change. “The kind of constant busyness we are a part of is actually a kind of aggression against ourselves, because we have no peace. More importantly, we construct the world by how we think. For instance, when we are in love, we will run out in the rain with our lover, dancing and singing and celebrating, getting entirely wet; whereas most days when we open the door and we see it raining, we use an expletive. It is not the rain’s fault; there is no quality in the rain that should make us either happy or unhappy. That is coming from us. So, if the way we are seeing the world is coming from within us, then the world is a reflection of how we are thinking and feeling and acting and speaking. In that case, we need to take time out to deeply consider how we want to behave.”

Meditation equals sanity in an insane world. The Middle East is crumbling, going through massive and violent changes; Japan is facing unbelievable difficulties and suffering due to man's need for endless nuclear power; the U.S., directed by Obama, just killed the world's most infamous terrorist; while the Republicans in America are horror stricken that there is a black president. All this is sourced from the need for power, from greed, hatred, ignorance and unhappiness. As Ed recalls: “I am a Jew and you are not, meaning that, as children, we were only allowed to relate to people who were like us. I wasn’t allowed to bring a friend home or to eat in his home if he was not Jewish. I was taught to fear anyone who was different.”

How do we deal with this? How can we claim our dignity, humanity and humility, both as individuals and as a human race? The most obvious and simplest way to stop the aggression is to find our peace. And the sanest way to do that is by stopping, being quiet, and making friends with ourselves through meditation. It has the effect of lifting us out of the quicksand of the mind, out of misunderstanding and suffering. Through it we find our freedom from reactive, rash, and self-serving behavior. Having a more compassionate understanding is vital to our development and survival as a human race.

“Meditation is calming the reptilian brain,” writes Matthew Fox in Be The Change. “We have all got three brains in us: One is a reptilian brain, which is about 420 million years old, our mammal brain is half that old, and our most recent one is the intellectual creative brain. The reptilian brain is very prominent; it runs our respiratory and sexual systems; it is action and reaction. We have to calm this reptilian brain so that the mammal brain, which is the brain of compassion and is here to bring kindness and kinship and bonding, can function. I mean, reptiles do not make good lovers; that is not their thing. Meditation allows us to treat the reptilian brain well: ‘Nice crocodile, nice crocodile.’ When we calm the crocodile, then the mammal brain can assert itself. Meditation is not just for professional monks; it is a survival mechanism for us all, especially in this time of crowdedness and rubbing shoulders with people of different faiths and traditions. We all have to learn to calm our reptilian brain.”

If there is one yoga that that leads to Self-Realization it is non-injury or ahimsa. Yoga Master Swami Satchidananda

 Imagine, as John Lennon said, what a world it would be if there were no wars and no suffering. How cool it would be if we could set just one day aside each year when we all stop causing pain and focus on harmlessness. A day when peace is more important than all our differences.

‘Make love not war’ may be the key to a better life but if we look around that isn’t what’s happening in today’s world. Yet there is nothing that could be more significant, helpful, or honoring of human existence and decency than non-injury, called ahimsa in yoga. If we were to practice this we would be aware not to think ill of others, not to use words that are hurtful or aggressive, or commit actions that can be destructive and cause pain.

This may sound so simple, but ahimsa actually requires a complete shift in attitude. Few of us get through life without causing harm, whether by ignoring someone’s feelings, by using more of the earth’s resources than we need, or by buying products made by underage and underpaid workers. What to do when insects invade the kitchen or slugs eat away at the vegetable garden, yet we don’t want to harm them? And how often do we do things that are hurtful or harmful to ourselves?

How many times a day, consciously or otherwise, do we put ourselves down, reaffirm our hopelessness, dislike our appearance, or see ourselves as incompetent or unworthy? How much resentment, guilt, or shame do we hold on to, thus perpetuating negativity? 

In a world where selfishness and self-interest are the norm, it takes great courage not to react with greed or anger, which can so easily lead to violence. Yoga teaches us to be honest, respectful, to take care of ourselves and others. Ahimsa is integral to these fundamental yoga teachings. Simply through the intent to cause less pain each of us can bring greater dignity to our world, so that harm is replaced with harmlessness and disrespect with respect.

Gandhi, one of India’s greatest yogis, was the champion of ahimsa. He changed the course of history in India by showing how harmlessness is more powerful than violence, inspiring millions of others to follow his lead. Both Nobel Peace Prize winners, the Dalai Lama and Ang San Suu Kyi, are long-term meditation practitioners and activists devoted to peacefully reclaiming the freedom of their countries. All three have used the power of meditation and harmlessness to show that human dignity through non-injury is the essence of human decency.

For instance, while the Dalai Lama is known for his pacifist attitude toward the Chinese, it is less well known that he rises at four a.m. each day to meditate for at least two hours – he is a true yogi!

Nelson Mandela, Bishop Tutu, and Martin Luther King, Jr., have all being fearlessly dedicated to non-violence, often in the face of tremendous opposition, as have numerous other lesser-known figures who, motivated by their meditation, faith, and belief in non-injury, have added their voices and sometimes even their lives. President Clinton asked Nelson Mandela if he was angry at his imprisonment and he answered, “If I were I would be still in prison.”

By developing a sense of respect for others and a concern for their welfare we reduce our own selfishness, which is the source of all problems, and enhance our sense of kindness, which is a natural source of goodness. The Dalai Lama

Practicing mindful yoga, sitting in quiet reflection, meditation or prayer has an immediately calming and peaceful effect. When we get off the cushion that peace stays with us, highlighting any tendency to cause harm and making such behavior far less likely. It becomes even more improbable as we deepen in awareness of our fundamental interconnectedness, for then violence toward another is the same as causing harm to ourselves.

Try this: Throughout the day, whether practicing yoga or meditation or wherever you are, silently repeat: “May I be well, May others be well, May I practice harmlessness to myself and to all others.”

Ed and Deb Shapiro are featured bloggers at Oprah.com and HuffingtonPost.com. See their award-winning book: BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You and the World, with forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman, with contributors Jack Kornfield, Jon Kabat-Zinn, Jane Fonda, Ram Dass, Byron Katie, and many others. They also have 3 meditation CD's: Metta—Loving kindness and Forgiveness; Samadhi–Breath Awareness and Insight; and Yoga Nidra–Inner Conscious Relaxation; which are available at: EdandDebShapiro.com