The Dalai Lama says kindness is his religion. Wikipedia says that a random act of kindness is: "…a selfless act performed by a person or persons wishing to either assist or cheer up an individual... There will generally be no reason other than to make people smile or be happier."

Being sexy means something is delicious, fun, delightful, it makes us feel good with a smile in our heart. Put that together with kindness, and we have the ultimate feel good action!

We first heard the saying practice random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty, many years ago when we were at Findhorn, the renowned spiritual community in Scotland. But there can be some confusion about this: perhaps the receiver of the kindness might not appreciate it, it might make them apprehensive or distrustful in some way. Sadly, this seems to speak more about the suspicious world we live in than about the nature of kindness. If there is such wariness then what is needed are more acts of kindness done by more of us, not less.

Perhaps it is the use of the world random that is misleading, and that it would be easier if we used the word spontaneous instead. Spontaneity means we are acting on an impulse, in the moment, freely; we are moved to do something for someone without any thought of receiving something in return. Such behavior is surely the ground of a healthy and joyful society, where we happily give of ourselves to help another and such an act is happily received.

Be generous. Give to those you love; give to those who love you, give to the fortunate, give to the unfortunate -- yes, give especially to those you don't want to give to. You will receive abundance for your giving. The more you give, the more you will have! -- W. Clement Stone

What stops us from acting this way? Invariably it is our own insecurities, lack of self-esteem and self-love, doubts and inadequacies. And the same qualities also stop us from being able to freely receive. If we feel unworthy then we believe we have nothing to give; if we don't love ourselves then we don't trust why someone would be kind to us. We fear that if someone gives without reason that they actually want something from us, or that they have an ulterior motive.

If we feel uncomfortable with generosity we can get stuck in uncertainty, fear or unworthiness. When we doubt ourselves we fall into an endless pit of self -denigration. When we appreciate the beauty of kindness it takes us out of such self-centeredness; it enables us to let go of self-centeredness and to freely reach out to each other. We can both give and receive. Such egoless moments are exquisite!

Giving spontaneously can have a remarkable affect on all those who come in contact with it. For instance, HuffPost blogger Arthur Rosenfield was in the drive-thru line at Starbucks. The man in line behind him was getting impatient and angry, leaning on his horn and shouting insults at both Arthur and the Starbucks workers. Beginning to get angry himself, Arthur chose to keep his cool and change the negativity into something positive. He paid for the man’s coffee and drove away. By the time he got home at the end of the day, he discovered he had started a chain of giving that had not only continued all that day but had been highlighted on NBC News and within twenty-four hours had spread around the world on the Internet.

Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end. Scott Adams

Can you imagine a world where no one gave to each other? Where we all just looked after our own needs but ignored everyone else's? This would surely be a miserable place to live, for ultimately, whether spontaneous or planned, we cannot be happy without being kind, by giving and caring for each other.

Spontaneous kindness is essential to our wellbeing, it liberates us from self-obsession, selfishness, and isolation. True generosity is giving without expectation, with no need to be repaid in any form. This is the most powerful, unconditional, and unattached act of generosity, free to land wherever it will.

Being kind can be as simple as smiling. As Mahatma Gandhi said, Almost anything we do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that we do it.

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COMING SOON: Join 32 inspiring meditation experts and luminaries on a magical mystery journey that will transform you from the inside out. Join Congressman Tim Ryan, Marianne Williamson, neuroscientist Richie Davidson, Tara Stiles, Gabby Bernstein and others, on a meditation e-Conference, March 4-8.

Enjoy our award-winning book: BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You and the World, foreword by the Dalai Lama.

Our 3 meditation CD's: Metta—Loving kindness and Forgiveness; Samadhi–Breath Awareness and Insight; and Yoga Nidra–Inner Conscious Relaxation, are available at: http://www.edanddebshapiro.com
 

Saints get headaches. The Buddha had an upset stomach. Oprah has bad hair days. Each one of us, whether a spiritual teacher, film star or homemaker, is simply a human being. As the Dalai Lama said as he stopped us bowing when we greeted him: “We are all equal here.” The search for meaning and real happiness is the same for all of us, although in Oprah’s case she gets to walk the path in public while most of us do it in our living rooms.

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense. The Buddha

When Oprah originally aired on television author of A New Earth Eckhart Tolle’s course on spirituality and awareness it was revolutionary. By mixing the spiritual journey and modern media she exposed millions of people to the teachings. Since she began her latest TV series, Soul Sunday, where she gets to explore the journey with different luminaries such as Deepak Chopra, Marianne Williamson, Jean Houston and Wayne Dyer, that search has become louder and more personal. No one of her magnitude has offered such guidelines to awakening wisdom and compassion on the television.

There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting. The Buddha

The teachers that Oprah interviews can only point the way, no one can do it for us, but in doing so they highlight how many of us crave spiritual guidance of a non-secular nature, often without knowing where to find it. The search for a deeper meaning in life is universal and religion has done it’s best to provide a roadmap. But, as evidenced by Oprah’s success, religious doctrine isn’t enough for many of those who watch her show. They seek universal spiritual answers, without wanting to follow a specific set of ideas.

No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path. The Buddha

However, as the Buddha’s quote says so clearly, we have to be careful of blindly believing everything we are told unless we find it be of real import in our own lives. Being skeptical is of value. We wouldn’t marry someone as soon as we meet them, we would take time to know them better. There are egotistical teachers who say they can enlighten us but actually are self-serving. So it’s good to first ensure a teacher is loving, compassionate and wise. The teacher on the outside is there to turn us on to our own inner teacher. Each of us is on a journey and what works for one may not work for another. We need the courage to trust our own insights and awakenings. Oprah is on the cutting edge of this media revolution and she shares every step of her search, but her answers may not always be applicable for all of us.

The only real failure in life is not to be true to the best one knows. The Buddha

One of Oprah’s personal advantages is she has what our Tibetan teacher calls Ding. This means a deep inner unshakeable confidence where we are comfortable in our own skin, just as we are. We can see this clearly in her willingness to be herself. She publicly shares and reveals her dark edges, her confusion and search, as much as her generosity and desire to help others, and invites us all to do the same. She shows that within us all is a reservoir of basic goodness: as in her, so it is also in us. This is seen in our desire to be better than we are, to be kinder, more loving, and more compassionate; it is the impetus to begin seeking answers, to aspire beyond our limitations, to climb our own particular mountain.

A good friend who points out mistakes and imperfections and rebukes evil is to be respected as if he reveals a secret of hidden treasure. The Buddha

Maitri is a Sanskrit word meaning unconditional friendship. When we were alone with the Dalai Lama, who wrote the foreword to our book, Be The Change, at his residence in India, he held our hands as we sat and talked with him. He emanated maitri by making us feel he was our very best friend, as he was so present and caring with us, paying attention to whatever we said. Through Oprah’s informality and willingness to share, she becomes such a friend. She reassures us we are not alone on the journey, not the only one struggling to find answers, and not woo woo to be searching in the first place. It is as good as being in the room with her.

Teach this triple truth to all: A generous heart, kind speech, and a life of service and compassion are the things that renew humanity. The Buddha

We walk, slide, skip, and dance along the path, picking ourselves up each time we fall. We are in this great mystery together, discovering that giving is getting, kindness is awesome, and life is a precious gift. However, as much as we applaud the journey, it is just as important to acknowledge ourselves as finders. Our lives do change for the better, we do become nicer, warmer, kinder, and less fearful. These are important shifts and we deserve every blessed congratulation there is!

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See our award-winning book: BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You and the World, forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman, with contributors Jack Kornfield, Jon Kabat-Zinn, Byron Katie and many others.

Deb is the author of the award-winning YOUR BODY SPEAKS YOUR MIND, Decoding the Emotional, Psychological, and Spiritual Messages That Underlie Illness.

Our 3 meditation CD's: Metta—Loving kindness and Forgiveness; Samadhi–Breath Awareness and Insight; and Yoga Nidra–Inner Conscious Relaxation, are available at: http://www.edanddebshapiro.com

We are a country divided, as the past election showed us, driven by conflicting viewpoints and approaches to problems. Essentials of life, such as finances and healthcare, have very different meanings to different people. And with a split government, such differences tend to end in gridlock. All of which implies that, as a whole, we are looking at drawn out economic problems, endless healthcare arguments, and an abiding sense of uncertainty in our lives. We hesitate to contemplate what the future may bring.

Such uncertainty, added to with opposing views on climate change and constant global tension, can create fear, turmoil and even panic. So how do we live with this? How do we live with the unknowing and insecurity? In fact, when everything seems hopeless is the very time we have the chance to grow into something better. Remember, what the caterpillar calls the end of the world, we call a butterfly! But, like a butterfly, the journey to such growth can be difficult, including having to possibly transform ourselves as completely as a caterpillar does.

Perhaps the best way to adjust is by recognizing that if constant change is inevitable, as it is fundamentally the essence of all life, then that doesn’t mean it has to be negative, for there is equally the potential for positive change in every moment. Here are 4 ways of surfing the waves of change that work for us:

1. Recognize that nothing is permanent

Nothing lasts, whether money, jobs, thoughts, feelings, or loved ones; everything is constantly changing, life never stands still. As Yoga Master Swami Satchidananda said, “Life is all about coming and going.” Everything that is happening now will change into something else, every structure will one day collapse, and new forms will be created, just as the cells within our bodies are constantly dying and recreating. Without change in ourselves we become stifled and stagnant; without change in the world we will not survive. Such impermanence means that every difficulty, challenge, joy, or success will, at some point, be different: this too shall pass.

2. Be With What Is

Even when times are tough, resistance is the quickest route to further discomfort and unhappiness. When we resist we put up walls or try to push the anxiety away, but this inevitably leads to unfulfilled desires and further discontent. Acceptance enables us to be with what is, to create spaciousness and room to breathe. Then we can make friends with our circumstances, instead of longing for things to be other than what they are. Being with what is means we release any need to know what the outcome of a situation might be.

3. Know that each day is a new beginning

Just as palm trees transform muddy water into sweet coconut milk, so we always have the opportunity to transform fear into courage, selfishness into kindness, and loss into a new beginning. We are capable to creating a new life for ourselves with every breath, word and action. We just need to put one foot in front of the other.

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. -- Maria Robinson

4. Stay grounded and calm

As every wave has both a crest and a dip, the clue to surfing is being able to paddle in the dip so we are ready to ride the next crest. Two of the best ways that we have found to help ourselves cope with the dips are yoga and meditation. Yoga releases physical and mental stress and relaxes the body, while meditation develops a peaceful and joyful mind. They enable us be present with what is, as well as to accept and live with change.

Here’s a meditation to help you stay calm and present. It is based on the flow of breath, which is like an anchor that gives us stability and steadiness. And just as the breath comes in and goes out, so it is like the coming and going of all aspects of life. Practice for a few minutes or as long as you like.

Sit upright and relax. Breathe in and out gently, simply watching the natural rhythm of your breathing. Follow the flow of your breath and let your mind relax into the rhythm. With each in breath silently repeat, “May I be well, may I be peaceful, may I flow with the changes.” With each out breath let your heart smile gently.

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See our award-winning book: BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You and the World, forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman, with contributors Jack Kornfield, Jon Kabat-Zinn, Byron Katie and many others.

Deb is the author of the award-winning YOUR BODY SPEAKS YOUR MIND, Decoding the Emotional, Psychological, and Spiritual Messages That Underlie Illness.

Our 3 meditation CD's: Metta—Loving kindness and Forgiveness; Samadhi–Breath Awareness and Insight; and Yoga Nidra–Inner Conscious Relaxation, are available at: www.edanddebshapiro.com

All that we are is the result of what we have thought. Buddha

Yes, he did it! Despite oceans of money and hours upon hours of backbiting, slander, and lying, the power of the people won out. Now President Obama has the time and support to make good on his vision for a caring and humane nation. But it appears it will not be a smooth ride. The opposition, at least in the Congress, is virulent.

To keep him focused on what is right for the people, we looked at what the Buddha said that might advise him at this time.

When people speak badly about you, you should respond in this way: Keep a steady heart and do not reply with harsh words. Practice letting go of resentment, and accept that another’s hostility is the spur to your understanding. Be kind, adopt a generous standpoint, treat your enemy as a friend, and suffuse your world with affectionate thoughts, far-reaching and widespread, limitless and free from hate. Buddha

The Buddha spoke these words, or some just like them, 2,500 years ago, yet they are just as relevant today. His teaching is based on our intrinsic interdependence and interconnectedness. In a very broad sense, the role of the president is similar -- to recognize how we all affect each other: our basic interconnectedness. As President Obama said four years ago: "Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek."

Just as treasures are uncovered from the earth, so virtue appears from good deeds, and wisdom appears from a pure and peaceful mind. To walk safely through the maze of human life, one needs the light of wisdom and the guidance of virtue. Buddha

But the differences between us can be huge. Although Obama pledged bipartisanship, in the last four years we actually saw the worst partisanship ever, with the Republicans determined to say no to whatever was proposed and to make Barack Obama a one-term president. To find unity, we have to go beyond those differences; we have to surrender our own needs for the benefit of all. In the process, our enemies can teach us great patience and even compassion!

Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule. Buddha

It is a man's own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways. Buddha

There have been some great achievements in the last four years as well as promises that haven’t been kept. But perfection is knowing ones own imperfections, which gives us the ability to get up each time we fall.

Teach this triple truth to all: A generous heart, kind speech, and a life of service and compassion are the things that renew humanity. Buddha

The President’s support of gay marriage is an example of this, as it reflects the desire that all beings be treated the same. We all breathe the same air, drink the same water, eat, sleep, and want to be happy. Love is not determined by gender. Why should anyone be denied the right to live the life they want, as long as they are not creating suffering for another?

When we first met with the Dalai Lama at his residence in northern India we bowed to him, as is the custom. He quickly lifted us saying, "We are all equal here."    

Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive. Dalai Lama

One of the reasons that President Obama probably won this election was because Mitt Romney was unable to relate to or inspire the middle classes, as well as his infamous closed door 47% speech. And so the one thing President Obama can be inspired by in the next four years is the equality of all.

A good motivation is what is needed: compassion without dogmatism, without complicated philosophy; just understanding that others are human brothers and sisters and respecting their human rights and dignities. That we humans can help each other is one of our unique human capacities. Dalai Lama

We recommend, as the Buddha does, to meditate, in order to pacify the negative aspect of our egoic monkey-like mind. Meditation is fast becoming part of many peoples lives as it alleviates stress, clears the mind, and inspires us to be kinder and more compassionate, even to people we have difficult times with. It could be a great friend to President Obama.

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See our award-winning book: BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You and the World, forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman, with contributors Jack Kornfield, Jon Kabat-Zinn, Byron Katie and many others.

Deb is the author of the award-winning YOUR BODY SPEAKS YOUR MIND, Decoding the Emotional, Psychological, and Spiritual Messages That Underlie Illness.

Our 3 meditation CD's: Metta—Loving kindness and Forgiveness; Samadhi–Breath Awareness and Insight; and Yoga Nidra–Inner Conscious Relaxation, are available at: http://www.EdandDebShapiro.com

Ed was born in the in the U.S., Deb across the pond in England. We spent years living there as we had our own T.V. series in London, and taught workshops throughout Europe. But, little by little, the constant grey and rainy weather was bringing us down. We both were getting very irritated by it until we realized how some people get stressed by the rain, while others just get wet!

Stress is usually thought of as an archenemy, something that gets us into difficult situations, makes us irritable, frustrated, panicked, and even physically sick.

For instance, imagine you are trying to squeeze some toothpaste out of a tube but you've forgotten to take the top off. What happens? Deb actually did this in one of her more unaware moments and the toothpaste soon found another way out -- through the bottom of the tube and all over her.

Now imagine that the tube of toothpaste is you, under pressure and beginning to experience psychological or emotional stress. But you don't take your lid off, as it were, by recognizing what is happening and making time to relax or deal with your inner conflicts. So what happens to the mental or emotional pressure building up inside you?

The fight-or-flight stress response enables you to respond to danger if, for instance, you are on the front line of a battle or facing a large bear. And even though not many of us are often in those situations, bears do come in many shapes and sizes. Seemingly unimportant events can cause a stress reaction, as the brain is unable to tell the difference between real and imagined threats. When you focus on your concern about what might happen it can play as much havoc with your hormones and chemical balance as it does in a real situation. Try remembering a gruesome scene from a horror movie and you'll feel your back or stomach muscles contract. The images are just in your mind yet they trigger an instant response in your body.

We all respond differently to circumstances: a divorce may be high on the list of stressors for one person but it may be a welcome relief to another. Life-issues that we are all subject to are stressors for some but not for others. The difference lies in our response, for although we may have little or no control over the circumstances we are dealing with, we do have control over our reaction to them.

In other words, the cause of stress may not be the external circumstances, such as having too many demands and not enough time to fill them. It is more likely to be our perception of the circumstances as overwhelming; and our perception of our ability to cope (albeit unconscious), as when we feel stretched beyond what we perceive ourselves to be capable of.

What we believe will color our every thought, word and action. As cell biologist Bruce Lipton says in The Biology of Belief, "Our responses to environmental stimuli are indeed controlled by perceptions, but not all of our learned perceptions are accurate. Not all snakes are dangerous! Yes, perception 'controls' biology, but… these perceptions can be true or false. Therefore, we would be more accurate to refer to these controlling perceptions as beliefs. Beliefs control biology!"

Thinking that it is our work, family or lifestyle that is causing us stress and that if we could only change these in some way then we would be fine, is seeing the situation from the wrong perspective. Rather, it is the belief that something out there is causing us stress that is causing the stress. And although changing the circumstances certainly may help, invariably, no matter what we do, it is only a change within our belief system and perception of ourselves that will make the biggest difference.

This is how stress can really be a good friend, as it shows us exactly where we are not paying attention to the perception we have of our capabilities, to our own needs, to honoring our priorities, and to fundamental relaxation and meditation techniques.

So, if you feel yourself getting stressed turn it into gratitude that it is reminding you to stop and take ten minutes to breathe and chill. Change the voice in your head from “I can’t” to “I can.” Find an affirmation that works for you in order to shift perceptions and belief patterns and to reinforce your strengths. Favorites are: “My mind is at ease and I am capable of doing everything,” or “With every breath I am more relaxed and flowing through my day with ease.”

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Your Body Speaks Your Mind

A 4-week webinar (on-line course) with Ed and Deb Shapiro, to learn how repressed, denied, or ignored thoughts and feelings are linked to specific body parts and illness.

Starts October 25 but you can join in and download classes anytime.

Meditation – The Best Friend You Will Ever Have

A 4-week webinar (on-line course) with Ed and Deb Shapiro, on discovering the greatest friend you could have: meditation. Starts November 5, but you can join in and download classes anytime.

We have all had times when we say yes to someone but really want to say no. It's often difficult to say no because of the desire to be loved: we want to be helpful, we want to show we care, but we may have little to give, are tired, over worked, or need alone time. Do you feel that if you aren’t there for someone they may reject you? Or, that you're somehow obliged to help as it makes you a 'good' person, parent or friend? Do you ever feel validated by being needed?

It's easy to believe that any time you take to relax or meditate is time that could be used elsewhere. But taking time out doesn't mean it is selfish or even wasted time. Think about what happens when your day is spent constantly caring for others. Do you get resentful, irritated, or even angry? Do you find stress building up? Does the quality of care that you offer become affected by that inner tension? Or are you so used to being this way that it seems impossible to imagine being any other way? You may even think you're not the relaxing type, or that if you do relax you won't be able to cope with all the things you have to do.

However, by taking time for yourself, by lowering your blood pressure and releasing stress, you are immediately creating a more harmonious environment that can only benefit all those around you. When you take time out to be quiet it means you don't get so angry, resentful, or frustrated; instead you connect with who you really are. Then what you share with others is coming from that peaceful space. When you are energized and feeling good you will be able to do far more than if you are dragging yourself through your day with little energy or in a bad mood.

So, rather than being selfish, such activity is actually the least selfish thing you could do! This is when saying no to others means you are affirming yourself. The power of saying no is that you are empowered!

Our yoga master, Sri Swami Satchidananda, said, "Never compromise your peace, whether it be to your children, parents, husband, wife or friends." Unless you are at peace, what you give to others is your stress or anxiety. Zen teacher Thich Nhat Hanh has a telephone meditation where he teaches that, when the telephone rings, just wait, breathe in and out and slowly walk to the phone, so you are at ease when you answer. Then the person at the other end will feel your peace.

No one can make time. No one can change our habits or routine. For meditation to have any effect in our lives, we need to make an agreement to honor ourselves by doing it. This is actually a commitment to our own sanity and freedom. It is not to anyone else—not to a teacher or even to our family—but to living. That choice has to be made by each one of us. We can change the way we look, where we live, even who we live with, but unless we connect with who we are inside then none of those external changes will make much difference. Remember, happiness is an inside job!                    

Entering into the Quiet

Taking time to meditate is not the same as going for a walk or quietly listening to music. These are wonderfully relaxing activities, but they do not have the same effect as simply being still. Even just ten minutes a day will help you and all those around you. Others will find it easier to communicate with you, will enjoy being with you, and will even be motivated to help themselves more. As peace is contagious, let's start an epidemic!

There is a great beauty and joy that is our birthright, and we find this when we let go of resistance and stress and reconnect with that quiet space within; when we discover our essence rather than focusing on the content. A stressed mind sees life as a burden or constraint, while a relaxed mind meets life with dignity and fearlessness.

Sitting Quietly

Sit comfortably with your back straight. Take a deep breath and let it go. Eyes are closed; breathe normally. Begin to silently count at the end of each out breath: Inhale... exhale... count one; inhale... exhale... two; inhale... exhale... three. Count to five, then start at one again. Just five breaths, and back to one. Simply following each breath in and silently counting. So simple.

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Your Body Speaks Your Mind

A 4-week webinar (on-line course) with Ed and Deb Shapiro, to learn how repressed, denied, or ignored thoughts and feelings are linked to specific body parts and illness. Starts October 25 but you can join in and download classes anytime

Meditation – The Best Friend You Will Ever Have

A 4-week webinar (on-line course) with Ed and Deb Shapiro, on discovering the greatest friend you could have: meditation. Starts November 5, but you can join in and download classes anytime.

See our award-winning book: BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You and the World, forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman, with contributors Jack Kornfield, Jon Kabat-Zinn, Byron Katie and many others.

Deb is the author of the award-winning YOUR BODY SPEAKS YOUR MIND, Decoding the Emotional, Psychological, and Spiritual Messages That Underlie Illness.

Our 3 meditation CD's: Metta—Loving kindness and Forgiveness; Samadhi–Breath Awareness and Insight; and Yoga Nidra–Inner Conscious Relaxation, are available at: http://www.EdandDebShapiro.com

Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within. Helen Kelle

It would seem that regardless of emotional and physical hardships there is a place inside each of us that is essentially happy and free—but we have a tendency to ignore this place, or to think that being happy is dependent on circumstances or fortune.

Some years ago we were in Pondicherry, India, walking through the city as night fell, stepping carefully to avoid rats and dog pooh, when we saw two boys preparing for bed, which was on the hard concrete of the sidewalk. What really struck us was, in spite of their clear hardships, they were laughing loudly and happily.

Then, the other morning we were going to the gym, when we passed a little girl holding hands with her father. The girl was happily skipping along. Obviously, this was because skipping and jumping are expressions of happiness. But it made us think about how we express our happiness once we get to be adults.

For Deb, the little girl skipping "made me remember that when I was little I used to sing to myself. No particular tune or song, but I would often find myself humming or singing without even realizing I was doing it. Ed says I still do that. The interesting thing is that, even though I didn’t have the happiest of childhoods—mother divorced father for cruelty, I was in boarding school from age eight, and so on—there was a happiness inside me that was all mine, untouched by drama, trauma, or circumstance."

 While for Ed, "I used to dance on stage with my sister and brother; we had a whole dance routine the three of us would do together. I come from a one-bedroom apartment in the Bronx with a stepmother who made life difficult, but I was always able to find a place to dance. When I danced I was at my happiest, it took me out of my daily reality and was the way I could really express myself. I was even a dancing teenager on television and won the NYC dance championships!"

In the West we correlate happiness with economic prosperity: the more we have the happier we are meant to be. As Danny DeVito jokingly said in a movie: "You wanna know what life's about? I'll tell you. You accumulate as much as you can and whoever has the most at the end wins."

But in Bhutan, a small but beautiful country in the Himalayas squeezed between northern India and China, they determine their country’s wealth by the quantity of Gross National Happiness (or GNH): people's level of happiness serves as a monitor for the economic and development plans of the country.

Bhutan is not a materially rich country and life for most people is hard—there were no roads before 1960, they farm the high mountain fields with oxen, and certainly most don't have central heating or air conditioning. But their happiness is that deep sense of appreciation and inner contentment. This is seen in their sense of community and caring for one another, and their radiant smiles.

Gratefulness is the key to a happy life that we hold in our hands, because if we are not grateful, then no matter how much we have we will not be happy—because we will always want to have something else or something more. Brother David Steindl-Rast

Given the current economic difficulties many people are facing, perhaps this is the perfect time to reassess what gives you happiness and how you express it—to reconnect with the inner joy that made you either skip or run when you were younger—for it is easy to forget to be happy. Do remember, unconditional happiness is an inside job. Supreme happiness is within you.

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Meditation – The Best Friend You Will Ever Have

A 4-week webinar (on-line course) with Ed and Deb Shapiro, on discovering the greatest friend you could have: meditation. Starts October 25 but you can join in and download classes anytime.

Your Body Speaks Your Mind

A 4-week webinar (on-line course) with Ed and Deb Shapiro, to learn how repressed, denied, or ignored thoughts and feelings are linked to specific body parts and illness. Starts October 24 but you can join in and download classes anytime

See our award-winning book: BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You and the World, forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman, with contributors Jack Kornfield, Jon Kabat-Zinn, Byron Katie and many others.

Deb is the author of the award-winning YOUR BODY SPEAKS YOUR MIND, Decoding the Emotional, Psychological, and Spiritual Messages That Underlie Illness.

Our 3 meditation CD's: Metta—Loving kindness and Forgiveness; Samadhi–Breath Awareness and Insight; and Yoga Nidra–Inner Conscious Relaxation, are available at: http://www.EdandDebShapiro.com

We will always blame and condemn those we feel are responsible for wars and social injustice, without recognizing the degree of violence in ourselves. We must work on ourselves as well as with those we condemn if we wish to move towards peace. — Thich Nhat Hanh, nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize by Martin Luther King Jr.

There is lots of fear mongering going on at the moment. Fingers are being pointed. Rage is being tossed around. This makes us quake in our boots, be fearful of the "enemy" or the "opposition," or anything else outside our known world.

Fear mongering is easy. Fox News political analyst Juan Williams said in 2010 how he gets nervous if he is on a plane with Muslims. Immediately, all his listeners felt a sense of empathy with him, it kindled their own fear, and showed how, when a seed of fear is planted in our mind, it generates instability to the point of paranoia, which can spread like wildfire.

A single match can burn down an entire forest. In the same way, anger can spread and affect all it meets, like a 15-minute video, itself the result of anger and irrational fear, that has ignited anti-US clashes from Morocco to Malaysia to Sydney, Australia. At the time of writing seven people have been killed, thousands injured and innumerable buildings destroyed.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself – President Franklin D Roosevelt in his first inaugural address

Fear has many faces, many disguises. There is fear that is a natural response to physical danger; and there is fear that is self-created, such as a fear of failure, of the dark, of being out of control, being different, lonely, or of unfamiliar "other people." Just as people fear communism, now they also fear Muslims. And such fear easily becomes racism. As Juan Williams also said in 1986: "Common sense becomes racism when skin color becomes a formula for figuring out who is a danger to me."

Ultimately, fear is about survival of the ego, the me-centered self, especially when the structures we have created to keep us feeling safe are, in our limited view, being threatened. The ego-mind casts a shadow of fear of potential loss and destruction. Many of us live our whole lives this way, with shadows haunting us like ghosts wherever we go.

When fear is in control we become irrational, resistant to change and spontaneity; we get angry, defensive, hidden behind self-constructed walls of protection, which reinforces separateness, isolation and enmity. Fear makes us cling to the known and reject anything that is unknown. Violence invariably arises out of such fear. Unacknowledged, it can wreck havoc in our own lives and in the world around us, as seen in terrorist attacks, gang fighting, rape, or forceful and abusive behavior.

This is the real enemy within: the part in us (whether it is bitter, angry, fearful, ignorant) that refuses to recognise we are all interconnected to each other.

We become fearless only when we can turn fear around and face it, get to know it, release resistance to it, and open our hearts. When we acknowledge and take responsibility for our own fearful and aggressive tendencies, when we see that the enemy within is actually more harmful than the enemy without, then we have the ability to change not only our own lives but the world as well.

We can make tolerance, acceptance, forgiveness and love our priorities. Which doesn’t mean we are always in spaced out bliss while ignoring the conflicts around us, but it does mean we have shifted our focus. Those people we have a difficult time with are really our teachers, as without an adversary—or those who trigger a strong reaction such as anger—we would not be motivated to develop loving kindness. So we should be grateful to them for enabling us to be more compassionate, and, as the Dalai Lama says, for teaching us greater patience. We can actually thank our exasperating partners, reckless teenagers, competitive colleagues, or misguided fanatics for the chance to be kind. What a gift!

All this is possible through meditation that not only invites us to witness anger, but also to get to know and make friends with ourselves, to dissolve the “me versus you”, the power struggles and one-upmanship. It gives us a midpoint between expressing anger and repressing it, a place where we can hear our feelings with awareness and acceptance.

Meditation may not be a cure-all; it is not going to make all our difficulties go away or suddenly transform our weaknesses into strengths, but it does enable us to rest in an inclusive acceptance of who we are. This does not make us perfect, simply more fully human.

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Meditation – The Best Friend You Will Ever Have

A 4-week webinar (on-line course) with Ed and Deb Shapiro, on discovering the greatest friend you could have: meditation. You can join in and download classes anytime. A free introduction on September 20, and a 4-week webinar starting September 27.

Your Body Speaks Your Mind

A 4-week webinar (on-line course) with Ed and Deb Shapiro, to learn how repressed, denied, or ignored thoughts and feelings are linked to specific body parts and illness. Starts September 19 but you can join in and download classes anytime

See our award-winning book: BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You and the World, forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman, with contributors Jack Kornfield, Jon Kabat-Zinn, Byron Katie and many others.

Deb is the author of the award-winning YOUR BODY SPEAKS YOUR MIND, Decoding the Emotional, Psychological, and Spiritual Messages That Underlie Illness.

Our 3 meditation CD's: Metta—Loving kindness and Forgiveness; Samadhi–Breath Awareness and Insight; and Yoga Nidra–Inner Conscious Relaxation, are available at: http://www.EdandDebShapiro.com

Honestly speaking we cannot imagine how our lives would be without meditation. As soon as we become still and quiet we enter a calm spaciousness within which questions are answered, while difference and dramas dissolve. Such stillness always comes as a great relief from the madness each day can contain. 

Some years ago we were attending a silent meditation retreat. Each day we were asked if we were feeling happier than we were the day before. The inquiring monk had a contagious smile, knowing that we were each confronting numerous obstacles to our happiness, primarily the ones in our own heads.

Yet despite his humor, the monk’s question was sincere. If we were not beginning to feel happier from practicing meditation, then what was the point of doing it?

We were asked the same question each day. To begin with this emphasized how preoccupied we were with inner confusion, doubts, conflicts, and discomfort, even how difficulties could actually feel more familiar than joy. Yet, why be there if we were struggling so much that we weren't enjoying it?

Our smiley monk was teaching us that it is vital to make friends with meditation, that it is not your adversary. Rather, meditation is a companion to have throughout life, like a best friend we turn to when things get hard to deal with and we are in need of inspiration, clarity, and even inner happiness.

Admittedly, meditation can sometimes appear insurmountable, but it is our own mind that contains the obstacles, not the practice of sitting quietly, as the chattering mind can create endless dramas. Practicing meditation means slowly and gently training the mind to do something it may not have done before: be quiet and still.

One way to overcome resistance and make meditation your friend is to start by just sitting for a few minutes at a time, instead of feeling you have to meditate, and then feeling guilty if you miss the allotted time or only do ten minutes when you had said you would do thirty. It's far more important to practice for just a few minutes and to enjoy what you are doing, than to sit there, teeth gritted, because you have been told that only thirty minutes will have any affect.

If your purpose is to try to achieve a quiet mind then the trying itself will create tension and failure. Instead, you are just with whatever is happening in the moment, whether it is pleasant or unpleasant. No judgment, no right or wrong. Watching whatever arises and letting it go is all that is required. It is more of an undoing than a doing.

During meditation we gently let go of distractions so we can genuinely be present. Like a child watching an ant walking down the sidewalk carrying a crumb, that is all that exists in their world at that moment. They are not thinking about what they had for breakfast, or what they will do with their best friend at their next play date. They are only watching the ant.

Meditation enables us to stop trying, to let go of the story, the dramas, our stressed mind, and to discover an inner easefulness. Some people describe this as a sense of coming home, as if they had been away or out of touch with themselves without even realizing it; others experience it as a huge relief as there is a release of anxiety and self-centeredness and they enter into a more peaceful state of being. And many feel as if they are simply hanging out with a good old friend, always there when needed.

Meditation Is Not What You Think

A 4-week webinar (on-line course) with Ed and Deb Shapiro on discovering the greatest gift you can give yourself: meditation. Clear your mind, open your heart, and dive into the wonder of your own true self. Starts July 09, but you can listen at any time.

See our award-winning book: BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You and the World, forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman, with contributors Jack Kornfield, Jon Kabat-Zinn, Byron Katie and many others.

Deb is the author of the award-winning YOUR BODY SPEAKS YOUR MIND, Decoding the Emotional, Psychological, and Spiritual Messages That Underlie Illness.

Our 3 meditation CD's: Metta—Loving kindness and Forgiveness; Samadhi–Breath Awareness and Insight; and Yoga Nidra–Inner Conscious Relaxation, are available at: www.EdandDebShapiro.com 

The only real failure in life is not to be true to the best one knows. Buddha

With six months to go before the election, President Obama has officially launched his campaign. This is an important time for him not to take anything for granted, but also to stay true to his beliefs and ethics.

It is extremely hard to stay balanced during difficult and challenging times, as there are always those who want to bring you down, who disagree, criticize, or act like they know better. It is obvious that it will be a nasty presidential campaign. Both Obama's religion and his birthplace are constantly questioned yet he holds his head high, speaks calmly and intelligently, and seems to have no malice. His reaction to such dissenters has simply shown his determination to keep going forward. As he said: "What we can do, as flawed as we are, is still see God in other people, and do our best to help them find their own grace. That's what I strive to do, that's what I pray to do every day."

When people speak badly about you, you should respond in this way: Keep a steady heart and do not reply with harsh words. Practice letting go of resentment, and accept that another’s hostility is the spur to your understanding. Be kind, adopt a generous standpoint, treat your enemy as a friend, and suffuse your world with affectionate thoughts, far-reaching and widespread, limitless and free from hate. Buddha

The Buddha's teaching is based on our interdependence and interconnectedness. In a very broad sense, the role of the president is similar -- to recognize how we all affect each other, which is our basic interconnectedness. Obama's recent announcement of his support of gay marriage is an example of this, as it reflects the desire that all beings be treated equally. As Obama said four years ago: "Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek."

We are delighted that Obama has recognized gay marriage as a fundamental right, for the soul is neither male nor female, gay or straight. The cover of Newsweek features an image of Obama with a rainbow-colored halo above his head. The main story is: "The First Gay President." We all breathe the same air, drink the same water, eat, sleep, and want to be happy. Love is not determined by gender. Why should anyone be denied the right to live the life they want, as long as they are not creating suffering for another? When we first met with the Dalai Lama at his residence in northern India we prostrated before him, as is the custom. He quickly lifted us up saying, "We are all equal here."    

But the differences between us can be huge. Although Obama pledged bipartisanship, in the last four years we have seen the worst partisanship ever, with the Republicans determined to say "no" to whatever Obama proposes. To find unity, we have to go beyond those differences; we have to surrender our own needs for the benefit of all. In the process, our enemies can teach us great patience and even compassion!

It is a man's own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways. Buddha

Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule. Buddha

There have been some great achievements in the last four years as well as promises that haven’t been kept. But perfection is knowing ones own imperfections, which gives us the ability to get up each time we fall.

Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without. Buddha

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See our award-winning book: BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You and the World, forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman, with contributors Jack Kornfield, Jon Kabat-Zinn, Byron Katie and many others.

Deb is the author of the award-winning YOUR BODY SPEAKS YOUR MIND, Decoding the Emotional, Psychological, and Spiritual Messages That Underlie Illness.

Our 3 meditation CD's: Metta—Loving kindness and Forgiveness; Samadhi–Breath Awareness and Insight; and Yoga Nidra–Inner Conscious Relaxation, are available at: www.EdandDebShapiro.com

An oyster may not like that irritating grain of sand in its shell but it manages to transform it into a precious pearl. That's quite a feat. Just like beautiful roses growing out of smelly manure, or a delicate butterfly emerging out of a caterpillar.

India is an extraordinary country where you get to meet all sorts of unusual people. On a recent visit we had tea with Mary and Don, a fascinating couple, who were born-again Christians from Texas. For over twenty-five years they had been running a clinic for disabled and handicapped children, caring for the poorest of the poor in Chennai, South India. We found their sincerity and commitment to the suffering that surrounded them powerfully moving.

But we couldn't help wondering how they had coped when confronted with the very different cultures and attitudes of India when they first arrived in the early 1970’s, especially as they and their four small children were living in a small hut with no running water.                                                      

“During our early days I was visiting a hill station when I word that I was needed back in Madras, a bus and train journey away,” Don told us. “The next morning, riding the bus down the mountain from the station, we unexpectedly came to a halt. A long line of traffic revealed an accident between a truck and a bus, which was now blocking the road.

"I was concerned about catching my train so I began to try and organize a way through, unfortunately forgetting the legacy the English had left in India: a great reverence of authority. There were buses stopped on both sides of the accident. ‘Could they not,’ I asked, ‘exchange their passengers, turn around and go back to where they had come from, taking the passengers that needed to get there?’        

"‘Oh no, sir,’ came the answer, ‘the buses are from different companies and so they would not be able to sort out the money for the tickets and we have no permission for this.’       

"Then I discovered that the bus on each side was from the same company! ‘Could they not exchange passengers?’ I tried again.        

"‘But no, sir,’ said the drivers, ‘for then each driver would end up at a destination where they were not meant to be, and there is no permission for this to happen.’     

"By now I had joined forces with a Swedish man who had a jeep. Together we worked out that if we could fill in the ditch beside the road then the bus could be moved back off the road on to the bank and there would be enough room for the cars to get past. ‘Oh no, sir,’ came the reply, ‘this is not possible. To fill in the ditch we would need permission and we do not have the permission to do this.’       

"While all this had been going on, the various occupants of the many buses and cars now waiting on each side of the accident had spread their dhotis (long pieces of cloth like a sarong) and were sitting or resting quietly in the shade under the trees. Eric and I, getting extremely hot and irritated in the midday sun, were the only ones trying to get anything done. Everyone else was quite happy to let events unfold by themselves.      

"By now it was 1pm. We decided that if nothing had happened by 2pm then we would fill in the ditch and move the truck ourselves. At 1.30 pm the police arrived, assessed the situation, and gave the long awaited permission to have the ditch filled in and the truck moved and by 2.pm we were on our way down the hill. I caught my train with a few minutes to spare.”          

“So how has India changed you?” we asked.

Don laughed. “If presented with the same circumstances now I would simply spread my dhoti in the shade like everyone else and let the situation take care of itself!”

We are reminded of this story whenever we find ourselves getting worked up about something. It helps us let go and be present in this world of chaos and confusion. Just spread your dhoti is like saying, Breathe in, breathe out, and just chill. As the Holiday Season can, ironically, be one of the most stressful times going, this is the perfect time to spread your dhoti. Happy Chilled Holidays!



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See our award-winning book: BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You and the World, forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman, with contributors Jack Kabat-Zinn, Byrone Katie, Jane Fonda, Marianne Williamson, and many others.

If there is one book you read about meditation Be The Change should be the one. Hear about some of the cool people who are doing it and why you should do it too. -- Sharon Gannon, founder Jivamukti Yoga.

Deb is the author of the award-winning YOUR BODY SPEAKS YOUR MIND, Decoding the Emotional, Psychological, and Spiritual Messages That Underlie Illness.

Our 3 meditation CD's: Metta—Loving kindness and Forgiveness; Samadhi–Breath Awareness and Insight; and Yoga Nidra–Inner Conscious Relaxation, are available at: www.EdandDebShapiro.com

Ironically, the holiday season is usually the most stressful. Imagine you are trying to squeeze some toothpaste out of a tube but you have forgotten to take the top off. What happens? Deb actually did this in one of her most unaware moments and the toothpaste soon found another way out through the bottom of the tube and got all over her. It forces a hole in the side or wherever is the weakest point.

Now imagine that the tube of toothpaste is you, under pressure and beginning to experience psychological or emotional stress. But you don't take your lid off, as it were, by recognizing what is happening and making time to relax or deal with your inner conflicts.

So what happens to the mental or emotional stress building up inside? In her book, Your Body Speaks Your Mind, Deb shows how eventually it has to find a way out and if it can't come out through the top, as it were, by being expressed and resolved, it will come out somewhere else, whether through your digestion, nerves, immune system, behavior, or sleep patterns. Repressed or ignored stress can manifest as depression, addiction, or anxiety; projected outwards it can become hostility, aggression, prejudice or fear.

We have built into our physiology a fight-or-flight response that enables us to respond to danger if, for instance, we are on the front line of a battle or facing a large bear. The battle may be with your teenage son and bears tend to come in a variety shapes and sizes. Seemingly unimportant events can even cause a stress reaction, as the brain is unable to tell the difference between real and imagined threats: if you focus on your concern about what might happen it plays as much havoc with your hormones and chemical balance as it does in a real situation. 

Recent studies show--as if we didn’t know--that job dissatisfaction, moving house, divorce, and financial difficulties are at the top of the list of known stressors. But we all respond differently to circumstances: a divorce may be a big stressor for one but it may be a welcome relief to another. The difference lies in our response, for although we may have little or no control over the circumstances we are dealing with, we do have control over our reaction to them.

 In other words, the cause of stress is not as much the external circumstances, such as having too many demands and not enough time to fill them, as it is our perception of the circumstances as being overwhelming; and our perception of our ability to cope, as when you feel stretched beyond what you perceive yourself to be capable of.

What you believe will color your every thought, word and action. As cell biologist Bruce Lipton says in his book, The Biology of Belief, "Our responses to environmental stimuli are indeed controlled by perceptions, but not all of our learned perceptions are accurate. Not all snakes are dangerous! Yes, perception "controls" biology, but… these perceptions can be true or false. Therefore, we would be more accurate to refer to these controlling perceptions as beliefs. Beliefs control biology!"

 In other words, believing that it is your work, family or lifestyle that is causing you stress and that if you could only change these in some way then you would be fine, is seeing the situation from the wrong perspective. It is the belief that something out there is causing you stress that is causing the stress. And, although changing the circumstances certainly may help, invariably, no matter what you do, it is a change within your belief system and perception of yourself that will make the biggest difference.

Try It Yourself         

If you find yourself feeling stressed, take ten minutes to breathe more deeply. Most people who are tense breathe short, shallow breaths into the upper part of their chest. If you take slower breaths and deepen your breathing into your belly, the stress will dissolve. 

Then find an affirmation that works for you to shift perceptions and belief patterns and to reinforce your strengths, such as: “My mind is at ease and I am capable of doing everything,” or “With every breath I am more relaxed and flowing through my day with ease.”

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Deb is the author of the award-winning YOUR BODY SPEAKS YOUR MIND, Decoding the Emotional, Psychological, and Spiritual Messages That Underlie Illness.

 Also see our award-winning book: BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You and the World, forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman, with contributors Jack Kabat-Zinn, Byrone Katie, Jane Fonda, Marianne Williamson, and many others.

 If there is one book you read about meditation Be The Change should be the one. Hear about some of the cool people who are doing it and why you should do it too. -- Sharon Gannon, founder Jivamukti Yoga.

 Our 3 meditation CD's: Metta—Loving kindness and Forgiveness; Samadhi–Breath Awareness and Insight; and Yoga Nidra–Inner Conscious Relaxation, are available at: www.EdandDebShapiro.com

Ed is a passionate and expert skier. When you sit for meditation and your mind drifts you can just bring it back to your practice and continue. But if you are skiing down a steep mountain and you lose concentration you could hit a tree. Ed teaches this, calling it inner skiing, where our perception is on the edge and we're in tune both within and without. It is a dynamic and relaxing freedom – meditation in action.
To anyone first coming to meditation they can be met with a plethora of advice and techniques that is enough to baffle and confuse. Where to go? What to do? Which is best? How to start? How to chose between mindfulness, TM, mantra recitation, kundalini, vipassana, insight, witness, breath awareness, shamata, visualization, MBSR, metta, and more?
Part of the difficulty is that the word meditation means both the experience and the technique. This is important because the experience is spontaneous, natural, arising from within, while the technique is simply the learnt method that helps you have the experience. And it makes little difference which technique you use. When you drive to Rome you need a car but once you get there you don't. The techniques are designed to help you calm the mind, to bring your attention inward, focused in just this present moment, so that the experience of meditation arises naturally.
We clarify this difference in our book, Be The Change, How Meditation Can Transform You and The World, as it is so easy to get caught up in the technique – mine is better than yours – and forget that it is only a way to something, it is not the something itself. We talked with over 100 meditation teachers and practitioners who all stressed that the experience is far more important than the technique used because what you are really doing is opening yourself to an inner stillness that grows each time you come to sit quietly with yourself. In other words, just shut up, sit still, and see what happens!
The experience of meditation is one of being completely and utterly present. That may sound so simple but it is rare – notice how your normal state of mind is distracted by issues from the past or dealing with issues in the future – anywhere but just right here! When we are fully present all those demanding thoughts begin to drop away, are seen as being far less important, even the anger, resentment, hurt and other negative emotions lose their power. Being fully present we experience the totality of our being and the richness found in stillness and silence.
So, when looking for a meditation technique, it may be worth trying them all. Each one will offer a slightly different take on the same thing, and we each need to find that one that suits us best. As one of Deb's teachers said, there are as many forms of meditation as there are people who practice it.
Just watching the flow of the breath as it enters and leaves very naturally internalizes our attention and is more than enough for many people (mindfulness, breath awareness, shamata --see below). Others have the same affinity to repeating a mantra or sound as the repetition induces greater peace (TM, mantra meditation). We can also purposefully foster positive states of being, such as cultivating greater peace, kindness, and forgiveness, through the repetition of simple phrases or visualization.
However, meditation can appear very boring, especially to beginners. Just sitting and watching our mind can seem so absurd, especially when we are invariably confronted with an endlessly chattering mind: the dramas, fears and neurosis seem to have a picnic, pushing anything meaningful out of the way. It's not that this chatter is new, just that we are now more aware of it, like an endless parade of senseless scenarios. When we were teaching meditation in England Ed was explaining how the mind can create havoc, and how some of the most inane thoughts can arise like: “I want to kill my mother!” The woman he was talking with blurted out, “How did you know?”
Practice
All you have to do is sit comfortably and watch your breathing. Just breathe naturally, in and out, no forced, short or long breathing. Simply watch each movement of breath. If this is hard, then you can also silently repeat, "breathing in, breathing out" with each breath.
Thoughts will come and go. You will probably find yourself getting distracted. The mind is very good at finding reasons not to be still, like a monkey bitten by a scorpion leaping from branch to branch it leaps from or drama to drama. When it does, just come back to watching your breath. The monkey will eventually get quiet and be still.
Make friends with meditation by not pushing yourself. Start with sitting for just 10 minutes a day until you naturally find yourself wanting and doing longer. That way you won't resent it. Sit upright – a bent or slouchy back will bring your energy down.
And as the saying goes, practice makes perfect. Which means that meditation is accumulative – you may not experience anything the first time you do it, but keep at it and you will. And though it may appear as if nothing is happening, in the midst of it all you may have a breakthrough, a moment of insight, and that one moment can change your life.
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See our award-winning book: BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You and the World, forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman, with contributors Jack Kornfield, Jane Fonda, Father Thomas Keating, Marianne Williamson, Ram Dass, and many others.

Our 3 meditation CD's: Metta—Loving kindness and Forgiveness; Samadhi–Breath Awareness and Insight; and Yoga Nidra–Inner Conscious Relaxation, are available at: www.EdandDebShapiro.com

If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading. ~ Lao Tzu

At a time of economic downturn, with corruption on the rise and countries at war, we wondered what could bring greater awareness, kindness, and compassion to a world in so much chaos? Could something as subtle and understated as meditation possibly have any affect on business, the environment, conflict, or even politics? Can meditation make a big enough change in consciousness to transform the way we see ourselves, each other, and our world?

We have both been immersed in meditation since we were young. It is the foundation of our lives, and often makes us wonder what life would be like without it when we look around and see the massive chaos and suffering that many people experience. So, for our book, Be The Change, How Meditation Can Transform You and The World, we wanted to paint a more varied picture by including many of the cool people who do it, how it affects them, and why you should do it too!

Meditation has been the main focus of spiritual practice for thousands of years, but it is only in the last few decades that the general population has begun to realize how valuable it really is, regardless of spiritual or religious interests. However, this poses a conundrum. If meditation is so available and as well known as it seems to be, why is it not already an integral part of everyone’s lives? If health reports are saying how good it is as a way to cope with stress, how it makes you feel better about yourself and others, why do we ignore it or find excuses not to do it?
Self-centeredness and selfishness -- hallmarks of the ego -- affect not only our own lives and relationships but also influence the way we behave in the world. There is no limit to the damage a strong ego can do, from the arrogant conviction that our own opinions are the only right ones and everyone should be made to believe in them, to wielding and abusing power at the expense of other people’s lives or liberties. The ego is neither good nor bad, except when self-centeredness dominates our thoughts, feelings, and perceptions of life. A positive sense of self gives us confidence and purpose, but a more negative and selfish aspect of the ego makes us unconcerned with other people’s feelings; it thrives on the idea of me-first and impels us to cry out, “What about me? What about my feelings?”

The ego also makes us believe that we are the dust on the mirror, that we could never be so beautiful as the radiant reflection beneath the surface. Yet how extraordinary to believe that we cannot be free when freedom is our true nature! When we begin to see that such self-centeredness does not lead to happiness and we yearn for something more genuine, when we realize that the pit of meaninglessness and emptiness inside is never truly satiated no matter how much we feed it, or when we have just had enough of chaos and suffering, then the longing for change arises.
This brings us to the importance of contemplation and meditation. Without such a practice of self-reflection, we are subject to the ego’s every whim and have no way of putting a brake on its demands. Meditation, on the other hand, gives us the space to see ourselves clearly and objectively, a place from which we can witness our own behavior and reduce the ego’s influence.

Meditation changes us. From being self-centered, we become other-centered, concerned about the welfare of all equally, rather than being focused on just ourselves. We become more acutely aware of how we affect the planet, how we treat each other and our world, and seek to become a positive presence rather than a negative one. As we find our own peace, we want to actively help others to also be at peace.

Science is now proving that meditation is a genuine way to generate peace by reducing potentially harmful emotions, such as fear and anger. We usually think of such mind states as a fixed part of life, but they do not need to be. Many negative emotions arise from the emphasis we place on success and achievement, which is a left-brain activity. During meditation, we engage the right side of the brain, which encourages us to communicate in a more positive and caring way.

To bring peace to those around us and to our world, we have to change from being concerned with our own needs to reaching out and helping each other. But for kindness and compassion to become a natural expression of who we are, we need tools—help, guidance, and support. Meditation in its many forms is the one tool we have found that does all of this. By getting to know ourselves, discovering that we are more than we thought we were, and by connecting more deeply with our essential self, we find that we have the resources, strength, and wisdom to not only make changes, but to become the change we so long for.

******
See our award-winning book: BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You and the World, forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman, with contributors Jack Kornfield, Jane Fonda, Father Thomas Keating, Marianne Williamson, Ram Dass, and many others.
Our 3 meditation CD's: Metta—Loving kindness and Forgiveness; Samadhi–Breath Awareness and Insight; and Yoga Nidra–Inner Conscious Relaxation, are available at: www.EdandDebShapiro.com  

Yoga has lost its essence, its core meaning, from what it was originally meant to be. It is wonderful that what is popularly known as yoga has reached millions of people, as the physical practices are brilliant in promoting health and well-being, but this is a bit like having a tiny slice of delicious pie and thinking you have the whole pie. There is so much more pie to go, as the vastness of yoga takes us into deepening our understanding of the whole of ourselves.

Unfortunately, yoga's very popularity has led to the loss of the key ingredient: love. Without love, yoga is dry, a physical and mental exercise that doesn't truly touch our inner being. It lacks what yoga is authentically meant to be about, which is a direct way to realize our full potential, our creative nature, our pure understanding and transcendence. We can read all the books and know the teachings, such as the Vedas, yoga sutras, and specifically the Bhagavad Gita, but these just point the way and are not enough to awaken.

With love, yoga comes alive, opening the heart wide with compassion, awakening kindness, joy, generosity, caring and laughter. The real joy, the heart of yoga, is love. Love reveals the way for us to live in truth.
If you are doing it to look better or lose weight then it may be good but it isn’t yoga. If it is a physical exercise class or a social event to have fun then it isn’t yoga. But if it is touching your heart, if it is reaching deep into your being and revealing the goodness of who you are, if it is giving you a glimpse into what is possible, then you are tasting of the beauty of yoga. If you feel joy and peace beyond understanding, that is yoga!

Rather than struggling to perfect awkward-looking postures, we learn to transform our minds and emotions and to connect deeply with our inner selves. Ultimately, this leads to awakening, the discovery of who we really are, free from obsessive ego identification. En route to awakening is the heart.

Opening our heart as wide as the universe is one of life's most powerful experiences. The heart is the core of our being, the place we point to when we refer to ourselves. And it is the center of love. The purpose of yoga is to realize our authentic true self, rather than focusing on the egoistic and superficial self we relate to daily. To do this we have to be in love, we have to be in the heart.

We do not have to go in search of this love, or fear giving away so much that we have none left. We can never lose love; we can only lose sight of it. Love could not happen if it was not already an integral part of who we are. How can we lose what is our nature? How can we be left with nothing when love is the source of all life? This is the fearless embracing of ourselves and all others, enemy and friend alike!

When we complete the journey to our own heart, we will find ourselves in the hearts of everyone else—Father Thomas Keating, from our book, Be The Change

This is seen in the following Native American story of a child learning the lessons of life from his father. “There are two wolves that are fighting each other in my heart," his father says. "The first wolf is angry, jealous, dishonest, bitter, and hateful. The second wolf is kind, caring, compassionate, generous, and honest.” The child asks which of the wolves will win the fight. His father replies, “The one I chose to feed.”

We recently led the Sunday morning service at our local Unity Church. At the end of our talk, over the loud speakers, came the Beatles' famous song: All You Need Is Love! The only way out of political madness and confusion and world suffering is love. Yes, what the world needs now is love.

Do you do yoga from your head or from your heart? Do comment below. You can receive notice of our blogs every Tuesday by checking Become a Fan at the top.

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See our award-winning book: BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You and the World, forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman, with contributors Richard Freeman, Seane Corn, Jane Fonda, Jack Kornfield, Marianne Williamson, Ram Dass, Byron Katie, and many others.

Our 3 meditation CD's: Metta—Loving kindness and Forgiveness; Samadhi–Breath Awareness and Insight; and Yoga Nidra–Inner Conscious Relaxation, are available at: www.EdandDebShapiro.com

Yoga has lost its essence, its core meaning, from what it was originally meant to be. It is wonderful that what is popularly known as yoga has reached millions of people, as the physical practices are brilliant in promoting health and well-being, but this is a bit like having a tiny slice of delicious pie and thinking you have the whole pie. There is so much more pie to go, as the vastness of yoga takes us into deepening our understanding of the whole of ourselves.

Unfortunately, yoga's very popularity has led to the loss of the key ingredient: love. Without love, yoga is dry, a physical and mental exercise that doesn't truly touch our inner being. It lacks what yoga is authentically meant to be about, which is a direct way to realize our full potential, our creative nature, our pure understanding and transcendence. We can read all the books and know the teachings, such as the Vedas, yoga sutras, and specifically the Bhagavad Gita, but these just point the way and are not enough to awaken.

 With love, yoga comes alive, opening the heart wide with compassion, awakening kindness, joy, generosity, caring and laughter. The real joy, the heart of yoga, is love. Love reveals the way for us to live in truth.

 If you are doing it to look better or lose weight then it may be good but it isn’t yoga. If it is a physical exercise class or a social event to have fun then it isn’t yoga. But if it is touching your heart, if it is reaching deep into your being and revealing the goodness of who you are, if it is giving you a glimpse into what is possible, then you are tasting the beauty of yoga. If you feel joy and peace beyond understanding, that is yoga!

Rather than struggling to perfect awkward-looking postures, we learn to transform our minds and emotions and to connect deeply with our inner selves. Ultimately, this leads to awakening, the discovery of who we really are, free from obsessive ego identification. En route to awakening is the heart.
 
Opening our heart as wide as the universe is one of life's most powerful experiences. The heart is the core of our being, the place we point to when we refer to ourselves. And it is the center of love. The purpose of yoga is to realize our authentic true self, rather than focusing on the egoistic and superficial self we relate to daily. To do this we have to be in love, we have to be in the heart.

We do not have to go in search of this love, or fear giving away so much that we have none left. We can never lose love; we can only lose sight of it. Love could not happen if it was not already an integral part of who we are. How can we lose what is our nature? How can we be left with nothing when love is the source of all life? This is the fearless embracing of ourselves and all others, enemy and friend alike!

When we complete the journey to our own heart, we will find ourselves in the hearts of everyone else—Father Thomas Keating, from our book, Be The Change

This is seen in the following Native American story of a child learning the lessons of life from his father. “There are two wolves that are fighting each other in my heart," his father says. "The first wolf is angry, jealous, dishonest, bitter, and hateful. The second wolf is kind, caring, compassionate, generous, and honest.” The child asks which of the wolves will win the fight. His father replies, “The one I chose to feed.”

We recently led the Sunday morning service at our local Unity Church. At the end of our talk, over the loud speakers, came the Beatles' famous song: All You Need Is Love! The only way out of political madness and confusion and world suffering is love. Yes, what the world needs now is love!

When one has once fully entered the realm of love, the world – no matter how imperfect – becomes rich and beautiful, for it consists solely of opportunities for love. -- Kierkegaard

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See our award-winning book: BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You and the World, forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman, with contributors Jon Kabat-Zinn, Jane Fonda, Jack Kornfield, Marianne Williamson, Ram Dass, Byron Katie, and many others.

 Our 3 meditation CD's: Metta—Loving kindness and Forgiveness; Samadhi–Breath Awareness and Insight; and Yoga Nidra–Inner Conscious Relaxation, are available at: www.EdandDebShapiro.com

America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter, and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves. -- Abraham Lincoln

The political arena right now can make any sane person feel sick and angry, because of the few selfish leaders imposing their own egocentric whims. As we have seen in the last few weeks in Washington, politicians appear to enjoy butting heads, creating chaos, and getting close to ruining millions of people's lives while they're at it. Granny may not get her Medicare or Ginger be able to pay her college tuition, but do they genuinely care about this, about the pain and suffering of others? How many lobsters, fancy cars, houses or private jets do they need? The awful horror is that these things can never make anyone happy but they certainly can pay for a hospital bed, overdue bill or foreclosure. We're pretty sure they didn't include such greed in their election campaigns.

It is a man's own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways. -- Buddha

Seems like the Buddha got this one right as there is no doubt the majority of politicians appear sleazy, selfish, stubborn, and focused only on what they think is right, regardless of anyone else. The late senator Ted Kennedy was one of the few who really cared, but as President John F. Kennedy said: Mothers may still want their favorite sons to grow up to be President, but . . . they do not want them to become politicians in the process.

For example, during his recent TV show Lawrence O'Donnell played a video of Tea Party Rep Joe Walsh saying, "I won't place one more dollar of debt on the backs of my kids" before noting that Walsh owes those kids $117,437 in child support. Banning Walsh from his show, O'Donnell added "He can go tell his lies about his family values and his sense of fiscal responsibility elsewhere."

Dangerous consequences will follow when politicians and rulers forget moral principles. Whether we believe in God or karma, ethics is the foundation of every religion. – The Dalai Lama

However, this is actually a wonderful opportunity to take all politicians, as difficult as it may be, into our hearts – yes, our hearts — as it will free us from negativity. When we hate someone it is in ourselves that hate is felt, the other person feels nothing.

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. -- Buddha

We need to recognize that such selfish behavior arises from ignorance. If politicians genuinely understood we are all equal here and in it together, they could not behave like this. Therefore, we can have compassion for them. Although challenging, caring unconditionally makes us more decent individuals and allows us to open our hearts even more. It is easy to love someone we care about but can we be at peace with someone who may cause us suffering? This is not easy but it is liberating. Only then can we be free. We don’t have to approve or accept their actions but we can care about the being inside.

Despite being a wondering mendicant living without paying a mortgage, without health care expenses, and without having to have a regular job, the Buddha had remarkable insights into the intricacies of human nature and how best to live a more balanced life.

He extoled his followers to tell the truth, to be honest with both themselves and others: There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting. – Buddha. And: Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth. -- Buddha

He expressed the power of words and the importance to use them wisely: Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care for people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or ill. – Buddha. And: Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace. – Buddha. And: Words have the power to both destroy and heal. When words are both true and kind, they can change our world. -- Buddha

He also stressed the need for skilful behavior. Unskilful behavior is harmful, hurtful, creates unhealthy circumstances and suffering. Skilful behavior generates positive outcomes, treats others with respect and dignity, and ensures that all the needs of all are met.

In particular, the Buddha emphasized that it is man's own mind that is at the root of our difficulties: All wrongdoing arises because of mind. If mind is transformed can wrongdoing remain? -- Buddha

The Dalai Lama, often considered to be a modern day Buddha, recently retired from the head of the Tibetan government, while remaining their spiritual leader. In a current article in Rolling Stone Magazine he says, "I often tell people that this century should be a century of dialogue. Peace will not come from thought or from Buddha. Peace must be built by humans, through action. So that means, whenever we face a problem – dialogue. For peace we need inner disarmament. … It will not come immediately but we have to make the effort."

If only a few of the people in a position of power were to follow some of this sage advice, perhaps our country and even the world would not be in the state it is in.

What would you like to say to politicians?
 

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See our award-winning book: BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You and the World, forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman, with contributors Jon Kabat-Zinn, Jane Fonda, Jack Kornfield, Marianne Williamson, Ram Dass, Byron Katie, and many others.

Our 3 meditation CD's: Metta—Loving kindness and Forgiveness; Samadhi–Breath Awareness and Insight; and Yoga Nidra–Inner Conscious Relaxation, are available at: www.EdandDebShapiro.com

Awake. Be the witness of your thoughts. You are what observes, not what you observe.

The Buddha

We come from opposite sides of the Atlantic Ocean and couldn't be more different if we tried. Ed is from an over-crowded apartment in the Bronx who became a NYC dance champion; Deb was at a boarding school in the English countryside and was then an art student in London. Yet we both began the spiritual journey at the same time in the late 1960s. When Ed was in India being initiated as a Swami – a yogic monk -- Deb was becoming a Buddhist. So on our honeymoon it was obvious that we should go to India to meet with our respective gurus.

We have previously written about how we can be addicted to a guru, therapist, healer or movie star and how an ego-driven guru can take advantage of his devotees to boost their power and create a 'gurudom' or kingdom. But that was only one side of the story. To put it into perspective we want to share the beauty of what it means to have a guru, someone whose sole purpose in our life is to show us the confusion within ourselves until we wake up and realize our radiant selves.

Who is and what does a guru mean? Simply, it means a teacher, and nowadays is a term used for multiple reasons. According to Wikipedia it is: 'one who is regarded as having great knowledge, wisdom, and authority in a certain area, and who uses it to guide others.' This can be a business leader as much as a schoolteacher, as long as each is an expert in their field and able to impart their understanding. Traditionally in yoga, in the highest sense, the meaning refers to a Satguru, one who is not ego-driven but who removes ignorance and darkness and leads the disciple to self-realization

Due to our chaotic minds it can be difficult to see ourselves clearly -- just as it is difficult to see our own face unless we look in a mirror -- so a genuine guru is a mirror reflecting our inner self. In particular, such a guru can see through our often subtle, mischievous and trickster egos, how we get stuck wading in mentally murky water, caught up in delusions either of grandeur or of insecurity and self-doubt.

The path of personal development never goes in a straight line, there are many detours and it is easy to go astray or even get lost. The deluded ego leads us into believing we are way special and enlightened. The guru has been down this road before us, they've already done the work and got the T shirt and can, therefore, help us to navigate the path more easily.

Spiritual gurus are not all the same – some are like loving mothers or fathers, others are like military captains (we have experienced both) – but each, in their own way, is there to help us open our minds and hearts as they see in us what we cannot see in ourselves, particularly our potential and true nature. The guru reflects a skillful and awakened mind and reveals the same in us. They show us that if one person can do it so can we. As the Dalai Lama said to us when we met with him at his residence, "We are all equal here."

One of India's greatest holy men, Ramana Mahashi, always said that the role of the guru is to push the student from the outside in order to see the guru within – as the true guru is within each and every one of us. However, this does not mean that we must have a guru, particularly as these days they appear to be in relative short supply. The good news is that Ramana was self-realized, without a guru.

Ultimately, as the guru is our true nature and is hidden within each and every one of us, we simply need to deeply trust ourselves. Only from within can we awaken – it is not something someone else can do for us. Through meditation and insight we come to see clearly, beyond a mind that can be as distracted as a monkey bitten by a scorpion, leaping from one thought or drama to the next, to a place of clarity and wisdom. We take responsibility for our actions, recognizing the interdependent and impermanent nature of all things. Life is a precious gift and nothing in this world will make us forever happy, but when we look within we find a radiant reality. The greatest gift is our own wonderful selves.

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See our award-winning book: BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You and the World, forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman, with contributors Jon Kabat-Zinn, Jane Fonda, Jack Kornfield, Marianne Williamson, Ram Dass, Byron Katie, and many others.

Our 3 meditation CD's: Metta—Loving kindness and Forgiveness; Samadhi–Breath Awareness and Insight; and Yoga Nidra–Inner Conscious Relaxation, are available at: www.EdandDebShapiro.com